{"id":261,"date":"2007-08-06T06:33:00","date_gmt":"2007-08-06T14:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/?p=261"},"modified":"2007-08-06T06:33:00","modified_gmt":"2007-08-06T14:33:00","slug":"doctors-and-lab-tests-and-sonograms-oh-my","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/?p=261","title":{"rendered":"Doctors and Lab Tests and Sonograms, Oh My!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Well, last week was stressful, and this week promises to be at least as much so. I took the triple screen last week, which I do know has a possibility of false positives. It came out showing higher than usual odds of my baby having Down Syndrome, so tomorrow I’m scheduled for a level II sonogram an hour and a half away. (Our medical facilities here in town are pretty limited. Everything out of the ordinary is out of town.)<\/p>\n

I’ve never been worried about Down Syndrome before, even though my last two pregnancies were also past age 35. I declined the triple screen for them; but this time, I’ve had this nagging worry that I should at least be prepared for the possibility. It seems like everywhere I go online, I am seeing people discuss Down Syndrome, how they found out<\/a>, and how they wouldn’t trade their child<\/a> for anything. I appreciate that sentiment, and if I have a child with Down Syndrome, I think I will feel the same way. But for now, not knowing, I am really hoping and praying that this child does not have any problems.<\/p>\n

Partly, I’m selfish. We have two children over 18, one of them moved out. We’ve been married 4 1\/2 years and have not been able to have a honeymoon, or even a weekend alone, since we married, because we are constantly surrounded by our blessings. I’ll be the first to say every child is a blessing, but it would be nice to be able to spend time with my charming and patient husband<\/a> sometimes, too, without it being interrupted by bickering, diapers, and “can I haves.”<\/p>\n

And let’s face it: I’m 40 years old, arthritic, overweight, tired, and depressed. I love being a mother, but I would dearly love someday to retire from being a mommy. I want to be grandma; I want to turn bedrooms into offices and libraries, and to send children home for dinner. I want to have a guest bedroom that it’s a treat for a child to sleep in. In other words, I dream of the day I can move on to the next stage of parenting: grandparenting. I would love to take a honeymoon, and as it is we might be able to do that for our 25th anniversary.<\/p>\n

The thought of having a child who will likely never move out daunts me and haunts me. It isn’t that I don’t love my children, you know. But I’ve spent the past three years in the same three rooms almost constantly, listening to electronic toy computers singing the alphabet, in-depth discussions about the merits of one handheld gaming system over another, and demands that I choose sides in arguments over whether a child did nine minutes in the kitchen or ten. Most of my adult conversations have been limited to a half hour, over coffee, before Joel leaves for work. Is it so selfish that I just want to think that one day — some day — I will be able to have adult conversations on a regular basis?<\/p>\n

I find myself looking forward to tomorrow, for that reason. Three hours in the car with a grownup, and not a single child to interrupt. A chance to see the baby in greater detail, probably to find out if it’s a boy or a girl, and ease my mind or learn to adjust. One way or the other, it’s better to know than to worry.<\/p>\n

And perhaps selfishly, I pray.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well, last week was stressful, and this week promises to be at least as much so. I took the triple screen last week, which I do know has a possibility of false positives. It came out showing higher than usual odds of my baby having Down Syndrome, so tomorrow I’m scheduled for a level II […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[7,33],"class_list":["post-261","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-prayer-requests","tag-pregnancy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=261"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=261"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=261"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=261"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}