{"id":39,"date":"2004-07-08T10:25:00","date_gmt":"2004-07-08T18:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/?p=39"},"modified":"2004-07-08T10:25:00","modified_gmt":"2004-07-08T18:25:00","slug":"move-along-lil-perverts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/?p=39","title":{"rendered":"Move Along, Li’l Perverts"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is not a porn site. Yes, I repeat, there’s nothing to see here, so please move on. I’m speaking, of course, to the people who keep linking to Confessions of a Hot Carmel Sundae by way of searches for sex confessions.<\/p>\n

Smut readers, I have news for you. St. Augustine<\/a> was using the word “confessions” to refer to a religious biography long<\/i> before your pervy little internet porn searches existed.<\/p>\n

So I have a suggestion: change your priorities and stick around; you might learn something about the God who loves you. Or for those who refuse that, move on. I’m shaking the dust from my feet as we speak. And washing my keyboard and monitor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is not a porn site. Yes, I repeat, there’s nothing to see here, so please move on. I’m speaking, of course, to the people who keep linking to Confessions of a Hot Carmel Sundae by way of searches for sex confessions. Smut readers, I have news for you. St. Augustine was using the word […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=39"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=39"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=39"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carmelsundae.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=39"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}