Rest in Peace, Farrah.
Posted By Christina M on June 25, 2009
An era has truly ended.
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I am hot...
it just comes in flashes.
Stellar Math Moments
Posted By Christina M on June 22, 2009
I guess you get ’em where you can find them.
Hyperlad: Mom, what’s one eight zero zero?
Me: Eighteen Hundred, or-
Hyperlad: No, it’s one eight hundred!
(pause)
I learned that from a commercial!
Me: Yeah, I suspected.
Growing Onions
Posted By Christina M on June 16, 2009
I’m a big fan of gardening for increased self-sufficiency. One of my favorite things to grow is something that provides food without costing anything extra. Green onions are perfect. You buy green onions anyway, right? Next time you buy them, use only the green parts and then take the white bulb parts and bury it in your garden. In no time, they’ll be growing. Then, when you want green onion, instead of picking them, just cut leaves off.
Just make sure you don’t cut all the leaves off at once, because the green leaves are the plant’s source of energy. If you use them faster than they grow, buy more and plant their bulbs, too.
A letter to divorced Catholics
Posted By Christina M on June 14, 2009
Dear Friend,
I know it hurts, and I know you may feel alone. Catholics aren’t supposed to divorce, right? Everyone around you is happily married, and you’re struggling, juggling, and really working hard at life. It feels sometimes like nobody gets it, and maybe everyone is judging.
I want you to know that you are not alone. There are so many people in our parishes who are or have been divorced. We know that divorce is a sad, lamentable thing; not because we judge, but because we know how painful it can be. And those who don’t understand, it isn’t because they think you are a bad person; it is because they just don’t understand. Maybe they haven’t had to go through the struggles you’ve gone through. Maybe they aren’t aware of your circumstances. Or maybe they just don’t know what to say, because they haven’t been there.
I don’t encourage divorce, but I’ve been there. My divorce was unavoidable, but it took me several years to realize that I didn’t owe everyone else an explanation. Your story belongs to you, and you can share it or keep it to yourself. But whether you share it with others or not, you should go to God with it, and your priest. They do not want to stand in judgment of you; they want to help you make things right. They want to see your life work out beautifully, blessedly. They can’t set things right without you, but they want to help you set things right. They want to see you smile again.
Some of the judgment you think you see is not really there. Some of it may be, but even then, you need to remember that you will never, in anything, have the complete approval of everyone… and you don’t need it. Don’t let those few people who make you feel uncomfortable drive you away. God isn’t chasing you away or rejecting you, even if you have made mistakes. He is calling you, with open arms. Don’t run away, run to Him. He will help you.
When I got divorced, I feared facing my family. They are Catholic. We don’t do divorce, ya know? I felt like a failure, and wondered how they would receive me. But I didn’t need to worry. There were some hard times as we redefined some aspects of our relationships, but we made it through them. My family helped me through this most painful part of my life, and I grew, and my relationships with my family members grew.
For a while, I guess I was a little broken. And my family treated me like I was a little broken. They were protective, careful, guiding, and very parenty. After a while, I was ready to stop being broken, but they didn’t know it. It took me letting them know. I had to communicate that I was ready to take those reins back, and they were happy to hand them over. What they did was not to punish me, but to protect me. And when I stopped needing protection, they were ready to let me spread my wings again.
The other difficult thing was, of course, the lonliness. I had three kids, and was dirt poor. Getting out of the house seemed an impossibility, and it was so hard to meet adults. Spending time with family members became my lifeline, till my kids were old enough to be left alone for an hour or two. It was tempting to rush out and look for a new relationship, but I’m very glad I didn’t. It took me several years before I was ready to have a real relationship again. I needed to heal first. Please have patience. Lonliness is so hard to bear, but healing really helps you to be ready for a really good, healthy, and spiritually grace-filled relationship.
God loves you, and so does your parish family. If you don’t have one, find one. They will be more supportive than you think, and will be a genuine blessing. Seek the advice of a priest, and if possible get involved with the social life of your parish. Volunteer for a ministry. Not only will it give you an outlet for your need to be around other people, but it will give you the opportunity to nurture some lifelong friendships and to realize that you aren’t as alone as you might feel.
God bless you, my friend. I don’t know who you are, and maybe you don’t know who I am. But I am a testiment to the fact that God has good things in store for you.
Note to self
Posted By Christina M on June 14, 2009
When the priest asks a question during his homily that begins with “who knows…” don’t raise your hand.
Homeschooling Promoted
Posted By Christina M on June 6, 2009
Or, perhaps I should call this post “How an anti-homeschool combattant pushes homeschoolers more firmly into their corner.”
One thing that many fighters never seem to realize is that there are times when the more viciously you fight, the more strongly you make your opponent cling to his position. When you give a logical argument, you may help others see, at least, that your view has merit; but when you merely attack, you simply make your opponent feel defensive. Even if the person in question wasn’t previously your opponent.
A case in point: The Case Against Homeschooling [sic].
Let me state from the start that there are legitimate arguments against homeschooling. This isn’t one of them. Most of the legitimate arguments are situational, meaning that what works for one situation does not necessarily work best for every situation. One child may do best in a homeschool environment, while another may do best in a school environment. But that certainly isn’t something for a teacher who does not know the child in question to determine with blanket statements. The people who know the child best (usually the parents) are generally the best people to make that call, unless their ability is called into question, such as in cases of abuse.
I will also point out here that in the coming year I will have one child in public kindergarten and one child in a public school online program. Each decision was made based on the child’s needs, not on blanket statements either in favor of or opposed to homeschooling. My point is that I’m not a particularly rabid advocate. Do I believe in homeschooling? Yes. Do I think everyone should be doing it? Not by a long shot. My argument here is not from the perspective of a homeschool propagandist, but from the perspective of someone who believes in parental rights, and someone who dislikes shoddy logic.
Without further ado, let me offer my point by point refutation. I won’t say rebuttal, because frankly the original “arguments” are not well enough crafted to merit the name argument, and consequent rebuttal.
10. “You were homeschooled” is an insult.
Well, it’s not one I ever heard, and I went to college with a number of people who had been homeschooled. But that aside, it’s not an argument against the validity of homeschooling, anyway. There are places where children still throw around racial epithets; will the author next write a case against minorities?
9. Students shouldn’t learn where they eat and play.
This struck me as the funniest one in the list. When I was a child, I ate and learned in the same classroom for many years. One school I attended didn’t have a cafeteria, so we ate at our desks. I guess those kids should have been removed from school? Furthermore, it’s a wrong assumption that all homeschooled kids learn and eat/play in the same room. Many homeschoolers have dedicated rooms for their studies. Furthermore, most public schooled kids are either encouraged or required to read and do additional schoolwork at home, where they eat and play. Is the author suggesting that homework should also be eliminated?
8. Homeschooling is selfish because rich people do it.
Hot diggety! Where do I go to get my share of that wealth? The author argues that it’s selfish because rich people have smarter kids than poor people, and it is the duty of rich kids to sacrifice their own best interests to help the poor children of poor, stupid, and illiterate parents by setting a good example of “focus and commitment.” Yes, that’s right. Poor people (a disproportionally minority crowd) need to learn virtue from rich people (a disproportionally white crowd), because rich people are superior. Ok, now I’m offended.
I am curious to know why the children who attend private schools aren’t also being implicated here. Is it because they are a larger group, and less vulnerable?
I would love to see an ideal world, where all children get an equal shot, but not at the expense of offering my own children less than I can. We can’t “equalize” the world by making it worse. The only way we can improve things in education is by improving the schools, not by ensuring that every child gets an equally crappy education. The basis of the author’s argument is that schools are not good, and it’s selfish for anyone to pursue a better education than that offered by them. Is this really what he wants to get across?
Aside from the insidious class warfare the author promotes, the factual element of the argument is faulty, anyway. The children of poverty who come from disadvantaged circumstances more often than not live in different, less expensive neighborhoods than the wealthy kids. They attend different schools, which often get their funding from a different homeowners tax base. Sending rich kids to school does nothing to impact poor kids. The biggest exception I can think of are small towns, where there is only one school district (like the town where I live). Such towns frequently have low incomes yet still provide a good education.
7. God hates homeschooling.
I don’t recall Him ever saying that. I do recall Him saying that it is a parent’s duty to bring children up in the faith. I do recall Him saying that parents are their children’s first teachers. The argument is that Jesus said to “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations.”
So now the school is a place of evangelization? Really? Really?
Actually, the Bible says that we are to know what we believe and why, so that when asked we have an answer ready. We are called to learn our faith before we teach it. The word disciple means student. We must be students before we can be teachers. Little children, who are still learning their faith, are not the ones Jesus was talking to in that verse; He was talking to the apostles.
The western part of the Catholic Church long taught that by baptism we are made disciples, and by confirmation we are made “soldiers” for the Lord. Confirmation, in this context, usually takes place shortly before legal adulthood — not in elementary school or infancy. You wouldn’t send an untrained person into battle in a war. Why would anyone think God is calling untrained children into spiritual battle without basic knowledge of their faith?
It is clear that Jesse Scaccia is hostile toward people of faith. A person who is hostile toward faith and God has no business whatever claiming to speak on His behalf, let alone pretending that children are encouraged to engage in evangelization on public school campuses.
6. Homeschooling parent/teachers are arrogant to the point of lunacy.
The explanation is that a homeschooler can’t possibly know every subject as well as the teachers of those subjects, because they majored in them.
So my child’s third grade teacher majored in math, and science, and English, and theology, and sociology, and geography, and cartography, and physical education? In Washington State, where I live, a parent teacher must either have some college education, or instruction in homeschooling. Furthermore, the children must be tested annually (which is more than is required of public school kids.) Are there states with no such requirements? Yes; but the answer isn’t to belittle homeschoolers. Rather, the key is to promote the cooperation of home educators and school educators. Ranting between the two groups against one another does nothing to help the children.
Teacher, I will pause for a moment to make a very, very important point. I have known a great many exceptional teachers. I have known teachers who inspired, taught, used logic, showed compassion and tolerance, and who are part of why I felt moved to provide an educational environment in which to raise my children. You are not one of them. You do a grave disservice to the vast majority of genuinely good, kind, and intelligent teachers.
5. “As a teacher, homeschooling kind of pisses me off.”
Ok, I shouldn’t do it because you don’t like it? Is this serious? Actually, this is a really powerful argument in favor of homeschooling. You see, if my children were unfortunate enough to have Jesse Scaccia for a teacher, I would absolutely remove them from the school. Any Christian parent who leaves his child in a classroom where the teacher is angry, hostile, and belittling of Christians as well as jealous of the successes of those he doesn’t teach is not a good influence. Behaviorally, this teacher is a really bad example of immaturity. Psychologically, this teacher is abusive. It is my job to protect my children from abuse.
4. Homeschooling could breed intolerance, and maybe even racism.
Like the kind that motivates Jesse Scaccia’s diatribe?
He has already implied that Christians are bad, poor people are stupid, and anyone with a different background is rightly mocked. This is supposed to be our example of tolerance?
3. Socialization
I know, I know. I’ve heard again and again how sitting quietly at a desk for 7 hours a day among people within six months of your own age, and then going home to spend another two or three hours on homework is supposed to provide better socialization than being among a variety of people in the home, the supermarket, at the museum, in gymnastics class, and in the neighborhood. I’m sorry, I’m just not stupid enough to buy it.
2. Homeschooling parents are arrogant.
And Jesse Scaccia isn’t?
You know what? It’s true that some homeschooling parents are arrogant. Some teachers are arrogant. (Look in a mirror.) Some preachers, and some cashiers, and some artists are arrogant. If you’re looking for only perfect people you are not going to find them in any group of people. I will say this much, though. My husband has an IQ off the charts. He has learned more from his outside reading than you learned in your collegiate reading, and he has a college degree on top of that. He has learned at least 7 languages, and has a nearly photographic memory for information. He thinks I’m smarter than him. (He is wrong, but at least I’m within his range.) We have 8 children, six of whom are school age or older. All of the school aged children have scored repeatedly in the 99th percentile on standardized tests in every single subject area. All of them have, at one point or another, been homeschooled. Now, if you think that your degree makes your classroom smarter than our home and our three degrees, who’s arrogant?
1. “And finally… have you met someone homeschooled? Not to hate, but they do tend to be pretty geeky.”
So your number one argument against homeschooling is your own intolerance and prejudice against people who are not like you. Congratulations, you’ve made your point. Only I don’t think you made the point you intended to make.
Thoughts about Love
Posted By Christina M on May 28, 2009
He loves you. He always has, and will never stop. You do not have to earn His love, and you do not have to be perfect. Some people will give you the idea that you have no inherent value, but it is not true. God made you, and that makes you incredibly valuable. That makes your friends, too, special and valuable. Every one of them. Even your enemies.
Your humanness is an incredibly special, beautiful gift. God gave it to you because He loves you so incredibly. Do not fear Him, and do not make the mistake of thinking He is mean, or harsh. Everything He offers you is a gift, not a punishment.
Do not be afraid to approach Him. He will hear you, and receive you, with open arms.
Heard around the House
Posted By Christina M on May 25, 2009
Covarr: Hyperlad, you didn’t flush.
Hyperlad: That’s ‘cuz I wasn’t going potty.
Covarr: Then what were you doing in there?
Hyperlad: I was just seeing if the toilet paper would stick to the ceiling.
Heard Around the House
Posted By Christina M on May 22, 2009
(Note: since Hypertot is now 5 and a preschool graduate, maybe he’s more lad than tot?)
Hyperlad: Why did the chicken cross the park?
Me: To get to the other slide?
Hyperlad: No, it was a park without a playground.
Me: Ok, why?
Hyperlad: To slide in the frozen north!