it just comes in flashes.
Posted By Christina M on April 13, 2009
Please pray for my dad’s health. His name is Ron. He was just scheduled for surgery to remove a kidney cyst and a solid mass on the kidney that they believe to be cancer. If so, this is his third cancer, in addition to having had open heart surgery not so long ago.
Posted By Christina M on April 12, 2009
Today at Mass, we renewed our baptismal promises. It is a good time to reflect on what we believe, and to ask ourselves questions we don’t ask ourselves very often. So for your reflection, I offer the baptismal renewal questions.
Do you reject Satan?
And all his works?
And all his empty promises?
Do you believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth?
Do you believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord,
who was born of the Virgin Mary
was crucified, died, and was buried,
rose from the dead,
and is now seated at the right hand of the Father?
Do you believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy Catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and life everlasting?
God, the all-powerful Father of our Lord Jesus Christ
has given us a new birth by water and the Holy Spirit,
and forgiven all our sins.
May he also keep us faithful to our Lord Jesus Christ for ever and ever.
Amen.
Posted By Christina M on April 11, 2009
Limbo
by Sister Mary Ada
The ancient greyness shifted
Suddenly and thinned
Like mist upon the moors
Before a wind.
An old, old prophet lifted
A shining face and said:
“He will be coming soon.
The Son of God is dead;
He died this afternoon.â€
A murmurous excitement stirred
All souls.
They wondered if they dreamed –
Save one old man who seemed
Not even to have heard.
And Moses, standing,
Hushed them all to ask
If any had a welcome song prepared.
If not, would David take the task?
And if they cared
Could not the three young children sing
The Benedicite, the canticle of praise
They made when God kept them from perishing
In the fiery blaze?
A breath of spring surprised them,
Stilling Moses’ words.
No one could speak, remembering
The first fresh flowers,
The little singing birds.
Still others thought of fields new ploughed
Or apple trees
All blossom-boughed.
Or some, the way a dried bed fills
With water
Laughing down green hills.
The fisherfolk dreamed of the foam
On bright blue seas.
The one old man who had not stirred
Remembered home.
And there He was
Splendid as the morning sun and fair
As only God is fair.
And they, confused with joy,
Knelt to adore
Seeing that He wore
Five crimson stars
He never had before.
No canticle at all was sung
None toned a psalm, or raised a greeting song,
A silent man alone
Of all that throng
Found tongue –
Not any other.
Close to His heart
When the embrace was done,
Old Joseph said,
“How is Your Mother,
How is Your Mother, Son?â€
(With thanks to Historical Christian, who had it posted when I went looking for it.)
Posted By Christina M on April 6, 2009
Posted By Christina M on March 30, 2009
I’ve never really been able to understand agnosticism. If you look it up on Google, you’ll get a variety of definitions, but most of them boil down to one of two things: either not knowing whether there is a God, or believing that it is not possible to know.
When I say I don’t understand, it is the former definition, not the latter, that I am addressing. I’m talking about personal religious belief and decisions, not philosophy. And what I don’t understand is how agnosticism can be an end point. To say with finality, “I don’t know” and then stop there… it is essentially like saying “I don’t know, and I really don’t care, either.”
What the word doesn’t take into consideration is that any perspective one takes on the existence of God is a decision. If you are convinced that there is a God, you can choose to act or not act on that conviction. If you are not sure, you have three choices: to approach it as though there is (the choice to believe), to approach it as though there is not (the choice to disbelieve), or to keep on searching till you have a more definitive answer.
The problem is that many people think, by giving their doubts a name, they can just accept the status quo of not knowing, and pretend like it isn’t a choice. But it is. Accepting not knowing, and then choosing not to accept God, is choosing to reject Him. It isn’t neutral. It isn’t choosing not to choose. The only neutral ground is to continue looking for an answer until you are convinced you have one. To choose not to choose — to choose to reject — is to make the most important decision of your existence by passive default. I have an easier time understanding outright, active anger toward God than pretending like a choice doesn’t exist.
If you choose not to take action on paying the rent, you choose to be evicted. If you choose not to take action on eating, you choose to be hungry. If you don’t choose a job, you don’t get work. You get the idea. You matter, and your choices matter. Choosing not to choose is merely choosing to default into the negative. It is a choice, and to say otherwise is to deceive yourself.
I can understand being afraid to make a decision. Being afraid of being rejected by a perfect God; being afraid of committing to a code of behavior that you aren’t sure you’re ready to commit to; being afraid, on the flip side, of making the wrong choice and landing where you can’t get out.
I’ve been afraid, too, of many things. I’ve at times been so afraid that I can’t take action because I’m frozen in place. I promise, I know how it feels. But one thing I’ve learned is that taking a step, even a small step, toward resolution almost never makes things worse. It almost always takes things one step closer to being better.
If you suffer doubts, know that you are not alone. But also, please know that every moment you seek or do not seek is a decision you are making. And fear itself is consistently worse than the thing we are afraid of. God won’t reject you. He won’t push you away until you meet His requirements. He won’t make deals with you. The deal has already been offered, and it’s one way. There is nothing you have to do but accept it. As for the “requirements,” don’t worry about them for now. God won’t expect anything of you that He doesn’t first put in your heart.
You are stronger, braver, and wiser than you think. Have courage.
Posted By Christina M on March 25, 2009
Dear President Obama,
I don’t know that you will ever read this; yet I feel I must share my feelings, if nothing else because I know that so many others feel the same way. I hope that if enough people express these same thoughts, they will come to your attention and you may know that they are not just the ravings of an angry minority.
What I want to tell you is that I am deeply saddened by abortion. I am saddened by the loss that human beings, both unborn and mothers, face. I am also saddened that our nation has put such pressure on young people to stay young, avoid sexual responsibility, and do anything to keep a man, that millions of women who do not want abortions are being pressured into them anyway.
Most of all, I am saddened that our nation appears to be heading in the direction of such callousness that it no longer offers any protection to its most vulnerable people.
I am not entirely sad, though. I am also happy to know that polls have repeatedly shown that most people support the limiting or elimination of abortion on demand. The vast majority want it either ended, or limited to only extreme and rare cases. And that is the primary reason I am writing to you. I want to remind you that America is not a heartless nation.
I know that you may feel that we are a pro-choice nation, because you ran on a pro-choice platform and won. But I and many others want to tell you that this is a mistaken perception. Many of the people who voted for you are pro-life, but hoped that abortion would take a back seat in your policies because they had financial fears that they hoped you would help to solve. It may look like a majority support your pro-choice platform, but the reality is that most Americans do not. They are simply troubled on so many issues that this was not the issue that decided their vote.
I believe, Mr. President, that you and many others in the federal government try to keep to views that you perceive as being popular among your constituents. I honestly understand this. You want to get elected, and you want to represent the views of the majority. But what you may not realize is that pro-choice politics do not represent the views of most Americans. Most of us are moderate, and truly wish to see the abortion struggle end differently from this slaughter we see today.
I ask you, Mr. President, to reconsider your views on abortion and other issues that affect vulnerable people in the United States. I ask you to pay attention to the vast numbers of people who believe that abortion should be limited. And I ask you to realize that corporate money from those who profit from abortion is not what won you the election. You owe a far greater debt to the people of the US than you do to corporate electioneers.
Finally, I want to say that this is a tremendous opportunity for you. We live in a time of such turmoil that your decisions on matters like this can make or break our nation. You have the opportunity to show yourself as the courageous and compassionate person who had the strength to protect those who cannot protect yourself. In so doing, you would gain a level of respect that I suspect you cannot even imagine.
Thank you for considering my words, and the thoughts of so many others who feel the same way.
—Christina Martin
Posted By Christina M on March 24, 2009
Artgal (reading from an Ungame card): When do you most feel God’s presence?
Hypertot: On Christmas. I love getting God’s presents for Christmas!
Posted By Christina M on March 23, 2009
You know how we keep hearing that sex ed is really health education, right? They say that Planned Parenthood is about educating young people about their bodies because those mean Christians would keep them in the dark. It isn’t really about promoting sexual abandon, it’s just about letting them have enough information to make their own choices… right?
But if it were really about educating women so that they know their bodies and how they work, where is the information about menopause? We are bombarded with talk about pubic hair and menstruation and liberation from “outdated” morality; but when do we ever hear the realities of what happens to our bodies after menarche?
They tell us how to apply a condom, but they don’t tell us how to tell when we’re fertile. They tell us how to get body-altering hormone treatments when we are not sick, but they don’t tell us about the side effects. They tell us about “all” those changes of our bodies, but they don’t say word one about menopause. Let’s face it, Planned Parenthood and others like them are only interested in teen sexuality, not in the overall sexual health of females.
This is why, when I wanted to learn how to tell when I’m fertile, I had to go to Christian sources and alternative health sources. This is why my state repeatedly tells me they’ll pay for pills for me, but not for a thermometer and a class. And this is why it is darn near impossible to find any information at all about menopause.
When I wanted to find out when it typically happens, it took me months of research to find the answer. Learning about the phases of menopause (and perimenopause) was tougher. They all said “oh, you get hot flashes and mood swings.” But I couldn’t find out for how long, or what is happening inside the body when these things happen. And frankly, maybe it’s because I’m a perimenopausal bundle of hostilities, but it makes me mad that those who get so much credit for caring about women’s health and disseminating information are completely ignoring menopause. I guess there’s no money in those who aren’t getting unwanted pregnancies.
I did finally find my information, though. I finally realized I needed to stop searching for “menopause” and start searching for “menopause” and “nfp.” (That’s natural family planning.) Only then did I find real information beyond hot flashes. And surprise, surprise, most of those promoting NFP are Christians.
I recently bought a couple of books on menopause at a thrift store. I’ve begun reading one of them, and by the end of the first paragraph was already frustrated. That’s the first paragraph of the introduction, mind you. The author said that one of the consolations of menopause is the kids moving out. Please tell me she doesn’t mean I can expect this process to last the next 17 years, till my youngest reaches adulthood. Ok, I know that isn’t what she means. What she means is the same thing most people in the secular world seem to believe: that sex is not related to childbearing.
Let me explain. Sex, or actually fertile sex, is something that is perceived to last long after a woman might realistically have children. Any woman who hits menopause hasn’t had any babies for twenty years. Sure, she’s having sex; but what does that have to do with having babies? People like me, who believe that fertility and parenting go hand in hand, simply aren’t supposed to exist. We contradict the current thinking about the purpose of sex, so we just get ignored. Besides, I suspect we’re believed to be too ignorant to be reading books like this about sexual health, anyway.
I really hope the other book turns out to be better. I’m looking for information, not preconceived notions about the social aspects of middle aged sex and childbearing. (No pun intended.)
I guess I’m ranting more than offering a genuine insight; but I am extremely frustrated. Why is in-depth information so difficult to find? I want to know what to expect as I enter a new phase, as much now as I did when I was twelve. Maybe those who do have information should be a little more forthcoming, and less private about it. It’s just as well I don’t get my information from Planned Parenthood, all things considered. I probably wouldn’t trust it much. But I do wish that NFP and its perspectives on fertility and understanding what the female body is doing were not so closely guarded and reserved for people who can afford classes.
Posted By Christina M on March 20, 2009
No, not really. Actually, that’s a phrase that just conjures up old memories. When my nephew was first learning to talk, his dad decided that his first sentence would be “Football is my life.” I don’t know if it actually was or not (though I somewhat doubt it.)
But the fact is, football is most emphatically not my life. Poop is. Some people are called to be great philosophers. Some are called to be the best classroom mom. I’m called to poop patrol. I’m called to clean poop off of walls, out of carpets, and even to cut it out of hair. I don’t know why, but this is the life God has called me to, so He must have a reason. And I know I can’t leave the poop in Monkeytot’s hair, no matter what demon possessed her to put it there; so I clean it. And whether I have a good attitude or a bad attitude, it still needs cleaned.
Would I love to be called to be a great writer, or an influential public figure? You betcha. Would I love to be one of those people who inspires others by having a perfect family and a house that smells like apple pie? You know it. But for some perverse reason, God deigned that my place in the world should involve excrement. And He knows best.
So I guess I’d better learn to give to Him with joy and love, even when He asks something I’d really prefer not to give. He’s the boss… if He wants it, He gets it. I really don’t care for the alternative.
So, Monkeytot, though you can’t yet read, I think I’ll take this moment to tell you that I love you. I really wish you’d leave the droppings in the diaper, but even that won’t stop me from loving you. And despite this phase (which, God willing, will pass) I still love the One who made you, too.
Posted By Christina M on March 20, 2009
The other evening, Hypertot and I were saying evening prayers, when he contributed this:
“God, if our whole family dies, please take our whole family to live with you.”