Posted By Christina M on December 3, 2005

At National Review, Katherine Jean Lopez recently posted an article about a Supreme Court case regarding parental notification for abortion. Specifically, New Hampshire is coming under scrutiny, and the Family Research Council has filed an amicus brief. In this brief, the FRC does something we sometimes forget to do: gives a theoretical example of a child in “need” of unnotified abortion a name. It names her Jane, and discusses what she faces.

Much of the brief gives arguments that are familiar to many of us, though it carries the arguments more clearly toward their logical conclusions. The law, it points out, in every state recognizes that a teenager does not have the decision-making maturity that an adult has. I highly recommend reading the National Review article, if nothing else, to see the strong case that the brief makes for this point.

The point that really struck me, though, came next. Assuming a very strong case for the need for abortion without parental notification, the example shows Jane as pregnant, and with a serious medical condition.

“Doctors inform Jane that her pregnancy and expectant motherhood — challenging and rattling as they are — are complicated by a serious health risk which, doctors say, has to be dealt with now. Delay of even two days, they say, is dangerous. Though she is free to call out to her parents for help, Jane does not wish to do so, at least not yet.

The doctors keep telling her to choose now.”

The thing we often tend to ignore in much of abortion rhetoric is that abortion is not only a medical procedure, it is also a business. It involves a contractual service, and one that is irrevocable at that, for non-refundable cash upfront. It is the only contract I know of that a minor can sign unprotected by parent or guardian.

The teenager — Jane — is pressured to make a decision that impacts her health, carries serious risks to her health, and even potentially to her life. This pressure is to sign, without any time to think about it, a contract that she cannot change her mind about. She is pressured to do this, in the absence of parental notification laws, without any help or support from her family. As the document points out, she does not have a husband, by definition, because this would make her emancipated. So this youngster who is presumed not to have the judgment to determine what kind of pain medicine to take for a headache is forced to make a decision that has life-changing effects, without the help of her loved ones. Not merely asked, but in many cases indeed pressured.

If an adult woman buys a vacuum cleaner from a door-to-door salesman, in many states, she has three days to change her mind. It takes weeks to obtain a home equity loan. It takes months to buy a house. It takes years to decide what you want to be when you grow up. And you can change your mind about all of these decisions; but the decision to abort is permanent, much more emotionally vested, and “protected,” in cases where parental notification does not exist, against the imposition of either having help making a decision or having the right to change one’s mind.

The people who stand to make a profit from Jane’s decision to abort… should they really be the only ones allowed to assist her in making this choice?

Category: Uncategorized
No Comments »
Tags: pro life

Posted By Christina M on December 1, 2005

OK, they didn’t really. We already had a good marriage, and in fact I’m not terribly fond of “Married with Children.” That’s where it all began. You see, My Charming and Patient Husband loves the show, whereas I can tolerate it in small doses. His favorite episode is the one he calls his “birthday episode,” because it is his tradition to watch it every year on his birthday, which falls near the beginning of Advent: “It’s a Bundyful Life.” He had an old, poorly recorded copy on videotape when we met, but each year the tape has gotten more and more fuzzy. This year, he couldn’t even find the tape.

As he was testing the dvd player on my laptop, I pulled out his birthday present: season four. “Could you test this one?” I asked, handing him the box. I have no words to describe the look on his face. “Greater love hath no wife,” said he. He promptly plugged it in, and proceeded to spend much of the rest of the day watching episodes.

Last night I slept the sleep of the exhausted and well-satisfied, aside from one thing. I kept getting snuggled and kissed, and hearing sweet words of praise whispered in my ear. It was clear that what had brought Joel possibly more pleasure than the gift was the fact that I, who did not care for the show, had given it to him.

There is a lesson here. Love isn’t about sharing the same tastes, the same interests, and the same personality. It is about valuing one another above self. Love is wanting to see the other person happy, even when it is at an inconvenience to self. Love is giving, not taking. And in return, love appreciates and returns such love.

Which leads me to the second lesson, one about human nature. If you want to be appreciated, if you want your loved one to cherish you, you will do well to make your loved one feel cherished. Nobody has taught me this lesson more clearly than my own husband. He makes me feel like the most important person in the world, and acts as though he didn’t see my faults. Oh, if I have a moral fault, he cares enough about my soul to encourage me to overcome it; but if I am sometimes a frustration (as he won’t admit it, but I frequently am), he strives to help me feel better, rather than adding to my burden by criticizing me. The way I’ve learned from this is by my own response. When he treats me this way, I feel a swelling of gratitude, a surge of love that makes me want to do foolish things like buying him a season of Married with Children for his birthday.

I hope for you, gentle reader, that you have someone in your life that inspires you to love more fully by loving you so fully. If you have not, I hope that you can inspire your loved ones in such a way. I hope that your marriages and other significant relationships do not need saved; but if they do, take that first step: put them first. Few people can resist responding to unselfish love. I know I couldn’t.

Category: Uncategorized
No Comments »
Tags: love

Posted By Christina M on November 30, 2005

Heads up to those who follow the nutty couple: today Joel, my Charming and Patient Husband, turns 38. In addition to my prayers of gratitude to God for making him, of course, I have to appeal to you all to send warm wishes and joviality today. Shall we send him laughs? Affection? Ribbing and teasing?

What’s a wife for, if not to call undue attention to her husband’s hairline?

Category: Uncategorized
No Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Christina M on November 27, 2005

Well, the cranberry chutney is safely in the fridge, and the tree stands alight in the living room. Time for my annual reflections on Advent, popularly known in the secular world as “the Christmas season.”

I’ve heard criticisms in the past of the celebrating and frivolity that accompanies Advent, and the criticisms have some merit. Advent is a season of liturgical preparation, of waiting; it’s a purple, penitential season. Yet the world calls us to dress up in sparkly clothing, drink rum and eggnog, eat fudge, and revel at the annual company party. There certainly is a dichotomy between the secular world and the liturgical calendar. Should we avoid the celebrations and just do penance? Should we skip the penance and reflections and pour another glass of champagne? Or is there a way to live in the world but still keep ourselves focused on what the Church and the faith have to offer us?

I believe there is. Once more I find myself rotund with child as Christmas approaches, and once more I can’t help feeling some connection between waiting for Peanut and waiting for Jesus. I feel her kicking all day long now, and my wee one is a constant, joyful reminder of life. I can’t help remembering that Jesus existed, also, for nine months before He made His appearance in the light of the world. A part of me wants very much to celebrating His hidden-from-view humanity now, like rejoicing at the sound of approaching footsteps of a loved one that I cannot yet see.

Every year as Advent begins, I remember a church tour that my old parish’s RCIA gave to the catechumens and candidates. Jean, who was leading the tour, brought the class to where the vestments hung. She explained the colors of the different vestments as she pointed them out. Tongue in cheek, she said “This one is Lenten Purple,” as she pointed to a purple chasuble. Then, pointing to a blue, “and this one is Advent Purple.”

I don’t want to see the liturgical season watered down to cater to the desire for revelry. It is good to spend some time in solemn reflection and waiting. But I do still dearly love the season. Jesus said “And when you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by men…” I do not think that looking either holy or miserable furthers our cause before the Lord or honors His nativity. We need to be moderate in our behaviors, especially during this penitential time; and it seems a very good idea to make sacrifices or increase our devotion to Christ to prepare our souls to receive Him. But I do not see why we should not be joyful at the same time.

Advent is a tremendous time to count our blessings. St. John of the Cross taught repeatedly that as we lessen our attachments to unimportant things, the things of the world, we eliminate the hindrances that create stumbling blocks on our path to God. Gratitude and genuine thanksgiving are not worldly attachments, but reminders of our dependence on God. I believe that as long as we approach Advent with this attitude, there is no reason that penitence need interfere with our joyful anticipation of His greatest gift of all.

Category: Uncategorized
No Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Christina M on November 23, 2005

Gee, I feel so much like Irish Spring! I discovered the Gender Genie, and copied all the text from my front page here at Carmel Sundae. It thinks I’m a man.

It’s funny, I’ve been accused (and occasionally praised) for having a masculine writing style before. Usually the praise comes from men: “You are so logical, you sound like a man!” As though logic were foreign to women. Sure, the tear ducts and right-left brain connections may work better than in a man, but it takes organization, logic, and a “male” work ethic to keep a household running. My very masculine husband has trouble figuring out how to organize the dishwasher when he loads it. I can’t complain about his domestic skills, because he can cook my socks off, but let’s just say he’s better with words, knowledge, and cayenne than he is with logical organization. He would be the last to argue with me on this.

Why is it, then, that men seem to think they are complementing a woman when they say she’s like a man? For that matter, why is it that extreme feminists often seem to think that a woman should be insulted if she’s accused of womanliness?

I like being a woman. I don’t see any contradiction between being a woman and using logic, and I don’t see any reason that my more liberal sisters need to rescue me from my emotions, my long hair, or, indeed, my female logic. Being a woman is a joy: life without being married to my Charming and Patient Husband would be disappointing and dull. No amount of masculine recognition could ever compensate for having to live a life without being the wife of this man.

So let the Gender Genie say what he will. I have no doubt he’s male, because women can tell the difference.

Category: Uncategorized
No Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Christina M on November 17, 2005

I suspect people around the Catholic blogosphere this week are writing about use of gifts and talents. Certainly, last Sunday’s Gospel reading, the parable of the talents, is one that always inspires me more than most do. I can only hope that others had the good fortune to hear homilies as good as I heard from Fr. Morse.

He talked about the expected things, focusing most on talents that we can offer for the Kingdom of God. But he also touched on gifts and blessings, and that was where I found myself really listening. You see, I already know I have far more blessings than I can ever deserve. More, still, than I ever expected to have. I owe it to my Master to be investing them a lot more than I do.

The more I thought about it, the more dimension I realized that investing what God has entrusted to us has. Yes, of course I must use wisely the money God has entrusted to me. (Good timing, that reading, coming on the heels of the Bishop’s appeal!) And yes, I should also be offering of my time and talent, especially for evangelization and the assistance of the Church. But suddenly it occurred to me that if our entire lives are a gift from God, then we must use all in a manner befitting the property of the Good Master. We should invest not only in the “return” of souls, but in the glorifying of God in all, and the expression of our gratitude in all.

Take, for example, my house. Five years ago, I was certain that owning a house was an impossible dream. Eight years ago, I would have been happy just to have an apartment of my own, and a bed on which to sleep. Now, I have things I asked Him for, and things I might not even have had the courage to ask for. That, I must remind myself, is every bit as much a gift as the ability to sing, sew, sell, or speak. What do I do to invest that gift? To honor it? To express my gratitude? Do I “bury” it, treating it carelessly, or do I care for it as a treasured gift from God? Perhaps Church work and evangelizing are not the only “holy” works, but dusting and vacuuming are, too.

My husband comes next to mind. I cannot begin to express the gratitude I have for my husband. I firmly believe that our loving God created me with him in mind, and him with me in mind. He guided our lives and molded our characters so that when we were ready, we might meet, and so that when we met, we would be perfectly suited for one another. I have to ask myself what more I could do to honor all that God has done for us, and to build up what He has given us.

The process is much the same for the many uncountable other blessings and gifts God has offered. Children, daily bread, health… it is easy to spend time lamenting the hardships instead of making the most of the blessings. Should I excuse myself from activity because my knees are arthritic, or should I invest whatever health and energy I do have, building it up with good care? If there is but little I can do, then I should at least do that little. If I can be trusted in small things, God will add to them.

This is a good week for me — and in fact for all of us — to spend some time reflecting on the many blessings God has given, and how we can more fully use them as God intends. A spirit of gratitude and an attitude of enthusiasm can accomplish with little what raw resources alone can never accomplish if not invested.

Category: Uncategorized
No Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Christina M on November 17, 2005

At least, my kids keep implying I am.
This test, though, “Which obsolete skill are you?” pegged me pretty well.

You are ‘Gregg shorthand’. Originally designed to
enable people to write faster, it is also very
useful for writing things which one does not
want other people to read, inasmuch as almost
no one knows shorthand any more.

You know how important it is to do things
efficiently and on time. You also value your
privacy, and (unlike some people) you do not
pretend to be friends with just everyone; that
would be ridiculous. When you do make friends,
you take them seriously, and faithfully keep
what they confide in you to yourself.
Unfortunately, the work which you do (which is
very important, of course) sometimes keeps you
away from social activities, and you are often
lonely. Your problem is that Gregg shorthand
has been obsolete for a long time.

What obsolete skill are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Many thanks (for a zillion things) to my charming and patient husband.

Category: Uncategorized
No Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Christina M on November 11, 2005

Yes, she’s baaack.
I apologize for my recent absence. My charming and patient husband recently had surgery, and with both his restbed and our computer in the same room, I haven’t had so much opportunity to blog. To those who have continued to check for new posts, I’m sorry to have disappointed, and grateful that you didn’t give up.

The other thing that’s been going on lately is a new Bible Study at my parish. It’s a women’s Bible study, which is really refreshing for someone like me who is hoping to make friends there. It’s also a really good program. We’re using Jeff Cavins‘ “The Great Adventure” program, and although we’ve just started a few sessions ago, I can already tell it was well worth the investment. No, I am not affiliated with Jeff or with this program in any way, other than to be using and admiring it… and admire it I do.

The idea behind this course is to look at the Bible as a study in the “story” of salvation and covenant, as told through primary narrative books of the Bible. The rest of the books then fit into the basic time periods narrated by those primary books. The idea is ingeniously simple: to lead the reader through a Bible that relates God’s story to us, rather than picking random parts out of context, or trying to read the books through in order of placement. The result is, if it works like it’s supposed to, better understanding as well as actual completion.

Although I won’t be posting the material of the study itself, I do hope to share some of my own observations, questions, and thoughts as I read through the story of God’s covenant with mankind. It is exciting to take a fresh, more detailed look at this gift from our Lord. I hope it will in some way inspire you, too, to read and study God’s word with a new commitment.

Category: Uncategorized
No Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Christina M on October 27, 2005

The Harlequin You scored 7% Cardinal, 56% Monk, 64% Lady, and 54% Knight!

You are a mystery, a jack-of-all-trades. You have the king’s ear, but also listen to murmurings of the common folk. You believe in the value of force and also literature. Truly you are the puzzlement of the age.

(Hat tip to my Charming and Patient Husband.)

Category: Uncategorized
No Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Christina M on October 27, 2005

Rumors have been going around the high school this week that a gang shooting was going to occur on campus tomorrow (Friday). The school and the police arranged extra police protection for tomorrow. Well, I don’t know what exactly has happened, yet, but it appears that something is happening today instead. I just heard that police are swarming the school, and children are being released to their parents. Our own teens’ choir performance tonight has been cancelled.

Please pray for the safety of all the children in the school, and also for all the adults at the school. Our town does not need another school shooting. My husband is picking up our teens as I type.

Thanks, prayer warriors and friends.

Category: Uncategorized
No Comments »
Tags: