Update on Curtain Climber
Posted By Christina M on January 6, 2009
He’s doing well, healing remarkably quickly. He doesn’t act like he’s in pain except occasionally. Thank you all for the prayers. I know that they have helped a LOT.
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I am hot...
it just comes in flashes.
Prayers for Curtain Climber
Posted By Christina M on January 3, 2009
Please pray for our Curtain Climber (aka Hot Stuff). He just spent the afternoon in the emergency room after grabbing a mug of hot cocoa and spilling it down his front. He’s not in any danger, except for infection, but he has a lot of pain from second degree burns. He’s currently sleeping through morphine, but he’s going to have some suffering over the next few days. So please pray for him, that his pain won’t be unbearable, and that he’ll heal extra fast. This is no way for him to ring in his new year or approach his first birthday. Thanks.
Might I suggest a New Years resolution?
Posted By Christina M on December 31, 2008
If you do nothing else for yourself, make a commitment to work toward getting out of debt. If you don’t know how to do it on your own, I highly recommend Dave Ramsey’s help. We’re just getting started with The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness
Marry Well!
Posted By Christina M on December 30, 2008
Today marks the sixth anniversary of the smartest thing I’ve ever done. I hope you’ll bear with me for a moment while I pat myself on the back. I married one of the kindest, smartest, funnest, manliest, and most fertile men I have ever met. And despite three well-rehearsed “You! You did this to me!”s, I have never, even for a two-second pause, regretted it.
So in the spirit of annual tradition, I would like to share a few words about how to marry well.
Choosing a partner:
- Don’t expect change. A husband or wife might change over time, but you can’t expect it or force it. Don’t marry anyone who isn’t just what you want to be married to right now. A boyfriend or girlfriend who manipulates you is not suddenly going to become honest after the wedding date is chosen. A fiance who belittles you is not going to miraculously discover what a gem you are after rings are exchanged. Your loved one will have faults, yes. But you have to ask yourself if these are faults you are willing to live with for the rest of your life.
- Don’t approach marriage thinking “if it doesn’t work out, we can always get divorced.” People who think of divorce as an option are not likely to try very hard to make things work.
- Don’t marry someone who doesn’t think you are the best thing that has ever happened to him or her. You deserve to be appreciated, and not just loved but cherished.
- Do communicate. If at all possible, take a marriage prep class, or attend an engagement retreat like Engaged Encounter, or go for premarital couples counseling. There will be areas where you think or assume that you are on the same page and it turns out that you are not. Most of these are minor hurdles that can be worked out with just a little bit of communication; but if it turns out that one of them is a deal breaker for one or the other of you, better that you should find out now, not after you’ve established a life, started a joint checking account, and bought a car together.
- Do make decisions together about finances and children. Before you marry. Even if your decision is not to decide yet, make sure you both agree on it.
Keeping a spouse:
I like to tell my sons that the best way to have a happy marriage is to treat their wives the way my husband treats me. For the benefit of those who don’t know my Charming and Patient Husband, I will elaborate a bit here.
- Accept your spouse. That doesn’t merely mean pretend to tolerate. Really accept him or her for what he or she is. There is nothing in the world that will help a person blossom into the best they can be better than genuine, unconditional acceptance. It heals past hurts, it raises future hopes, and it makes life a lot smoother.
- Appreciate your spouse. Don’t merely overlook faults. Look, actively look, at qualities. And then express your appreciation verbally. Let him know that you are grateful for his hard work. Let her know how her smile warms you on a bad day.
- Never let the kids get between you. Your kids will one day grow up and move out; hopefully your spouse will not. Don’t fight in front of the kids. Don’t contradict them publicly about child rearing. There will be times you disagree about how to handle something, but discussion should always be respectful of the other person, and private. The kids do not need to see places where they can drive wedges to get what they want. Nor do they need the insecurity of wondering if they will have both of you in their lives in the future.
- Be the best person you know how to be, even in the areas of your life that don’t affect your spouse. It inspires admiration. Don’t just be generous with your spouse; also be generous with others. Smile warmly at the whole world, not just the person you love. It affects your entire outlook for the better, and it really can help your spouse to want to be a better person, too. I know that when I see my husband being kind to strangers, it reminds me to be kinder. When I see him being generous, it makes me feel proud of him. Don’t deprive your love of the opportunity to be proud of you.
- Don’t be afraid to be weak. Yes, keep on trying; but don’t think that means you have to hide your weakness and vulnerability. That’s what a life partner is for! This is the one person who will back you up when your backbone doesn’t feel very strong. Let your spouse know how much it means to you that he or she helps you through your moments of weakness.
- Most of all, remember that love is not just a noun, it is also a verb. It isn’t just a “thing” that you feel, it’s an action that you do. And like every other action, it requires that you make a decision of the will. You are not a victim of love, you are an active participant. Keep on loving. Decide each and every day to give of yourself. Remember each and every day how much you love this person.
I pray that you will experience the kind of joy that I have in love.
Christmas Eve
Posted By Christina M on December 24, 2008
If anyone wants to give me a Christmas present, please consider a donation to your church building fund, if you have one.
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace to men of good will!
Carmelite Final Promises
Posted By Christina M on December 18, 2008
You may have noticed I’ve been more absent than usual recently. I’m trying, in addition to holiday cleaning, to prepare spiritually for OCDS Final Promises. For those who don’t know, OCDS refers to the Secular branch of the Order of Carmelites, Discalced. A secular, sometimes referred to as “Third Order,” is a member of a religious order who is not a nun, friar, monk, sister, or brother. In other words, we are attached to our order by prayer, spirituality, study, work, and charism.
The Discalced branch of the Carmelites was founded by St. Teresa of Avila, with the help of St. John of the Cross, in response to a need for reform in the then lax attitude toward the Rule of Life of Carmelites. In a time of great religious upheaval, Teresa found herself heading a convent where benefits and privileges were granted based on family wealth and favoritism, and where the rules were practically ignored. One of the rules that she reinstituted was the traditional habit, which included sandals, not shoes. Her reform was originally known by many popular names, but the name “discalced,” meaning shoeless, was the one that stuck. St. John headed the male reform, at St. Teresa’s request.
Today, the original Carmelite order (OC) and the Discalced Carmelites (OCD) make up separate orders with separate lines of authority and slightly differing spirituality, but they share a history and charism, as well as maintaining mutual “authority” over the Brown Scapular. The Brown Scapular, the symbol of both Orders, represents a smaller version of the brown habit of Carmelites. Both Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross have been named Doctors of the Church, and recently so was St. Therese of Lisieux, another Carmelite saint.
My name in Carmel is Mary of the Feet of Jesus. Please pray for me as I prepare to make my promises permanent on Saturday.
Permanent Marker on Computer Monitor
Posted By Christina M on December 18, 2008
What do you do when you realize that a Monkeytot has written on your LCD (or other kind of) screen with permanent marker? You ask Artgal. And Artgal promptly tells you to use a dry erase marker to clean it. And it works.
One caution: use Heloise’s advice, and wipe into the mark, not out from. If you wipe across your mark, it will smudge the dry erase ink and need more cleaning.
Happy Birthday, Joel
Posted By Christina M on November 30, 2008
My Charming and Patient Husband is now the same age as me for a few brief months. Why not head over and wish him a happy birthday?
A thought for today
Posted By Christina M on November 29, 2008
We hear the message all around us, almost constantly: be kind to yourself. Give to yourself. Love yourself. Above all, you are the master of your own fate.
But sometimes, the greatest blessings are surprises.
Sometimes, the happiest parts of life turn out to be not the things we plan for ourselves, but those that are given to us.
Sometimes, we don’t pursue joy, but joy pursues us despite ourselves.
When life hands you the unexpected, instead of lamenting the plans it interferes with, take a moment to consider how very many of the greatest blessings in life are those that we didn’t plan. God loves throwing a surprise party. When He throws one for you, be ready to show up.
Note to Hypertot
Posted By Christina M on November 24, 2008
I don’t care how much you like or dislike bar soap. You can’t wash your hands with toothpaste.