Posted By Christina M on April 12, 2008

I admit, I went way too long without the sacrament. About 7 months, and for at least the last few, I needed it. You see, I was angry and lethargic, and it was hard at one point not to blame God.

But that wasn’t the really rough part. You see, I got over the anger. But I didn’t get over the knowledge that I had allowed a wedge between myself and God. So, while I continued praying, it felt rather like an awkward meeting with an estranged relative. I love Him, and I wanted things to be right between us, but I couldn’t just pretend like nothing had passed. When you love someone, and He loves you, you want to be on good terms. And it hurts like (well, pardon the language, but it’s appropriate) hell to have that distance of unrepaired bridges between you.

I won’t go into too much detail about why it took so long to get back to Him, but suffice it to say that it really was beginning to feel like someone was out to get me. Car breakdown after car breakdown. Illness. Hubbie having no choice about working weekends. And so on. But it was enough to really make me examine my motives, and to think and pray for a way to get to confession. God made me really want it. It wasn’t going to be enough to go through the motions this time.

So today, I finally got there. It was two or three minutes, without any pouring out of emotion or sage advice. It was one of those really simple (though not necessarily easy) confessions where you sit down and just lay it on the line. “I did this. I did this other thing. I did such and such.” And I received a fairly simple penance of praying before the Blessed Sacrament.

And the prayer was so simple. Simple as light filling a room. Simple as warmth flooding through your body when you come in from the snow. Simple as a few words from me, and a few words from the Lord. “See how easily I forgive?”

And for the first time in months, I feel unburdened. I can go to God without a feeling of shame, just one of overwhelming gratitude.

My friends, if you have not been to confession in a while, please go soon. Someone is waiting for you with open arms.

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Tags: Catholicism, God, our life, prayer, reflections

Posted By Christina M on March 22, 2008

There. I’ve said it, and the choir tyrant can’t stop me now.

If any of you happen to be choir tyrants who like to toy with the liturgy, I urge you to reconsider. We’ll just say alleluia when we get home anyway, so what is really accomplished.

Alleluia.

Alleluia.

Lent is over. Christ is risen, ALLELUIA, ALLELUIA!

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Posted By Christina M on March 20, 2008

Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.

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Posted By Christina M on March 19, 2008

Please do not take off your diaper and put on your brother’s underwear. And if you disregard that, you should bear in mind that underwear should not be worn as a shirt.

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Posted By Christina M on March 19, 2008

The harbingers of spring, that is: the yard on the corner is awash with crocus. A few days early, spring had the good grace to arrive before the Resurrection, certainly ready to celebrate His renewed life on Sunday.

I love the crocus. It is the flower of hope.

Now, if our cars would just give us some hope. We’ve had five or six car problems so far in the past two months, each one incapacitating a car. The money that was supposed to have paid off our bills ended up going to mechanical work, and now the truck is down again, and there is no money left. Several of the bill payments bounced, as it is.

I’m not stressing to the degree that I was a few months ago, but I still can’t help but wonder if someone is out to get us. It sounds paranoid, but how else do you explain that the moment (literally, the very moment, in some cases) we get one car repaired, another breaks down? And then the first one breaks again, and then the second.

Meanwhile, at least there is one positive thing about the situation: when walking on the errands, I see the crocus blossoms that refuse to believe that the weather is still cold.

Lord, please let us be able to make it to Mass for your Resurrection.

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Posted By Christina M on March 3, 2008

That’s what I strongly believe is going on with the child mentioned here. Specifically, a second grader has announced that he’s transgendered, with his family’s support, and the school is obliged to support him in the decision.

So, where does an eight year old get a word like “transgender”? Where does a child that age get the concept that he isn’t really the person he sees in the mirror? Even if it were true, it isn’t an issue a second grader would be able to put into words.

That is, unless his parents jumped on the idea.

I could see a kid that age putting on Mommy’s high heels and traipsing around the house saying “I’m a woman!” I’ve seen younger kids than that do it, because every child toys with the idea of pretending to be various role models. Every child I’ve ever known, by age two, tries on both Mommy’s and Daddy’s shoes… and big brother’s, and aunt’s… and any big person in his life. That is how they explore the idea that they will be big one day themselves. So, when a second grader comes up with the idea that it isn’t fair that Sister has prettier clothes than he has, or wants to be just like Mommy when he grows up, it’s not terribly surprising.

What is surprising is a parent who is so eager to display his axe to grind that when Kiddo says “I wish I could wear dresses like Mommy does,” says “Woohoo, we have a transgender kid! Isn’t it great? Now we can make our point to the world!!”

So now a kid who had an appreciation for gingham is suddenly assigned a lifetime of wearing girl’s clothing and thinking daily about his own sexuality from this day forward. By age eleven, he will be deciding with whom to have sex. By age eighteen, he will likely commit suicide. The article doesn’t mention that: that the majority of transgender people commit suicide.

But it’s worth it, because it allows Mommy’s and Daddy’s soap box to be big and visible. Who gives a damn what it does to the child?

Anything for politics. Anything for politics. Anything for politics. Keep repeating that until you convince yourself that the child is less important than the issue.

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Tags: current events, parenting, sex

Posted By Christina M on March 1, 2008

One of the fastest ways to get me excited is with a new homeschooling book. I just received History Odyssey in the mail, after having ordered it by the slowest mail some time ago. And I have to say, it doesn’t disappoint. It looks fantastic, and I can’t wait to start with it. What I ordered is, specifically, History Odyssey, Middle Ages, Level 2. It’s the guide for grades 5-8 or 9, and it approaches history from a Classical Education perspective.

Now, if you’ve seen my previous words on the subject of Classical Education, you realize that when I say it, I do not mean an education that focuses on Rome and Greece. In fact, as you can see from the title of this guide, we are not even studying Rome and Greece this year, but the Middle Ages. And that includes Europe, the Middle East, the Far East, India, Africa, and the Americas. Wow. That alone was a tremendous selling point for me, as so many history programs focus only on one part of the world, and almost all English language programs seem to ignore Asia and Africa, and give only passing acknowledgment to South America.

For those who homeschool or afterschool and are interested in this program, let me tell you a little about it, at least what I can tell so far. You can decide for yourself if this is a program you’ll like; but I’ll warn you, my enthusiasm may rub off.

The first, and perhaps most important, thing you need to know is that this is not a textbook. In fact, it isn’t a book but a set of hole-punched pages. It does not contain the reading material for your history program, but instead organizes your program and lays out in-depth assignments. It comes with a list of materials you will need to buy (or check out at the library), so you may find it costlier than many other programs. That’s the biggest disadvantage. The flip side is that the reason for this is that it makes use of real books, not twaddle. These books are written by real writers. They include genuine reference books, novels, even literature. This is the stuff that turns kids on to history, not off. If you have ever known someone who was truly excited and knowledgeable about history, I’d stake my favorite pen that he or she reads historical fiction of some sort. Not only does historical literature awaken the real drama of the past, but it also presents historical people and events from varied perspectives, as opposed to the trimmed-clean versions you find in textbooks, that have all interest removed in order to avoid offending whoever writes the current rules of political correctness.

Besides the literature, this program is heavy on research, writing, notebooking, outlining, and timelining. But it doesn’t leave you on your own to figure out how to do these activities; it guides you through the process. In addition, it contains a number of blank maps and worksheets for completing the assignments that require them. In that regard, the program is self-contained.

The work itself is divided into mostly one-session lessons. The exception is the books to be read within the program. Each session should last up to two hours, and is made up of a list of activities with check boxes. This may sound silly, but those check boxes look very helpful to me. It helps me to keep track of what is done and where exactly we are in a program. It’s funny how overwhelming a program without a “list” or check boxes can look. The lessons themselves are subsections of parts or units that divide the study geographically, so that the student studies the era systematically, not neglecting large areas of the world.

When I ordered the program, I didn’t realize how necessary the other books were. Specifically, it is impossible to get started without first obtaining The Kingfisher History Encyclopedia and The Story of Mankind. So, alas, I have to get these books before we can dive in. But I can’t tell you how eager I am to get started. I think I may get them from the library until I have my own copies.

I’d love to hear from anyone else who has used History Odyssey, or any other Classical approach to history, and how it has gone for you.

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Tags: homeschooling

Posted By Christina M on February 25, 2008

Ok, I have a confession to make: I haven’t been blogging much lately. I’m averaging 6 hours of sleep a night for the past six weeks, and spending most of the rest of my time holding a baby, nursing, directing housework and schoolwork (or attempting to do so), and trying to catch up on the many tasks I couldn’t do during the end of pregnancy and recovery. But mostly it’s the lack of sleep. Anyway, my apologies and gratitude to anyone who is still checking here for new posts.

Today I come to you with another confession: I’ve been keeping a dream of mine secret for some time, because I worried that it would look pompous, and also that it would never come true. But I think it’s time to share, and let you offer some of your wisdom to help me along. What I’ve wanted for years is to get a Masters Degree in Theology, and if the opportunity ever becomes available, a Licentiate in Sacred Theology. I know that the two are years off, but maybe it is God keeping them at arms’ distance because I am not prepared. Maybe, just maybe, if I make myself ready He will provide the opportunity. So I am going to try to prepare for these studies, and I am asking you for input. What do you think would be the best way to prepare, long term, for those goals?

I’ll be honest. I don’t know if these desires will ever come to pass. But I do know that studying the faith is always a good thing, so even if I never get to the “goal,” the journey will be worth the effort.

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Tags: Catholic Church, our life, short stack

Posted By Christina M on February 18, 2008

“You have two choices. You can either eat it, or you can give it to me and I will give it back to you after Mass.”

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Posted By Christina M on February 15, 2008

Really I haven’t. I’m sorry for not updating sooner, though I hope those of you who are following our soap opera have seen Joel’s update. We will come out of this crunch, after all, but I can’t give details now because of a preschooler yelling “Mommy” from the other side of the door, a baby wanting fed, a toddler sneaking to disassemble machinery, and sick and/or grumpy older kids. That’s been my week, so I hope you’ll forgive me for being slow to reply to you all. I am very grateful for you. I truly am.

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