Lord, we need your help.
Posted By Christina M on February 8, 2008
We’re losing our house. There is no way we can find a rental for our size family. I don’t know what we’re going to do.
Site Meter
I am hot...
it just comes in flashes.
Happy birthday to me
Posted By Christina M on February 7, 2008
Today I get, not another year older, and probably not wiser, but at least more mellowed and flavorful.
How many years of flavor? That’s a good question. If there are no more questions, class is dismissed.
Edit/note from birthday … uh… girl: it’s amazing how much wittier my writing gets with my husband knowing my blogger password!
How Gary Ezzo Made Me a Better Parent
Posted By Christina M on February 4, 2008
It is 3:00 AM, and 4-week old Peter cries. It isn’t a cry, exactly, but a fussy sound of a child who is hungry but not quite wide enough awake to communicate it. I consider rolling over and waiting till he wails, but then I remember Ezzo, and I make myself cheerful about sliding off my bed and picking up my precious baby. My baby is talking to me, and I have the privilege of being one of the people who gets to teach him that big people listen and understand when he communicates. I have the privilege of being the one God chose to make milk and feed it to him. And he, being exactly the way God made him, communicates well.
Anyone who is familiar with Babywise, or Ezzo’s other writings, may be thinking, now, “But that isn’t what Ezzo teaches!”
Exactly. It isn’t. Ezzo teaches that babies need to be taught to conform to adult schedules, and that adults need to learn to view baby’s cries not as communication but as a form of manipulation that must be squashed. And while many families have used Ezzo’s techniques with results that cause envy among other adults (babies who sleep through the night and do not cry), many families have also suffered heartbreak and serious consequences from having followed these techniques. Babies have suffered documented ailments from failure to thrive to slow starvation. And these consequences are not merely anecdotal; the AAP has condemned forced scheduling. They have documented dehydration and failure to thrive as consequences of Ezzo’s practices. Lactation consultants, child development experts, and child advocacy agencies have all recognized these consequences.
And if you look a little more deeply, a basic understanding of how children develop should show us that babies’ development should be about far more than merely training them to adapt to adult convenience; rather, infancy and childhood are times when we adults are helping to form the cornerstone for our children’s growth and gifts. A child who learns that when he cries, someone cares and helps, learns that he can communicate. A child who learns that his cries go ignored will learn that communication is futile. The fact that a child stops crying does not mean he is a “good” child, but one who has given up on trying to make that connection, because he knows that his attempt will not bear fruit. What is the outlook for such a child in his future relationships? What is his outlook for learning, for communicating?
Ezzo is right about one thing: we are raising our children for God. It is our duty to raise them in preparation for serving Him. But the real question is how do we do this? Do we raise them to serve Him by suppressing their strengths, their ability to communicate, and their sense of worth? Do we teach children that they matter because they are made in God’s image by telling them that their needs are evil and manipulative? Or do we teach them to honor Him by helping them to cultivate all their gifts? Do we squash their personalities or mold them?
God made babies. He made them to cry when they have a need, so that we might know. Who are we to say that God made them wrong?
And now, when I hear my little baby cry, and I’m so tired my arms and legs ache like overstretched rubber, I will try very hard to remember that God knows best. I want my son to grow up knowing my love in no uncertain terms; maybe if I am not selfish, he will never be tempted to think that God, in whose image my son sees me, is selfish either.
Bless the beasts and the children. For in this world, they have no voice. They have no choice.”
Sickened
Posted By Christina M on January 28, 2008
I’m just sickened when I read the news. One mother is accused of microwaving her baby. Another killed her toddler in a murder suicide as revenge on her ex husband. And there was the recent national news about Baby Grace, whose mother and stepfather tortured and killed her.
And I ache and feel nauseated over each one of these. I hear my tiny one cry, and it makes me go all mushy. I am outraged… and so are we all. But where is the outrage, hurt, nausea, over the millions of tiny ones deliberately and legally killed every year? How can we call ourselves compassionate if we put political theories on such a high pedestal that we no longer care whom they hurt?
Parody Contest: Annie’s Song
Posted By Christina M on January 18, 2008
For a little bit of fun, I offer to you a parody contest. I’m sure most of you remember Annie’s Song, by John Denver. Who can come up with the best spoof? You have till next Friday, in the comments field. The winner gets … well, a hearty pat on the back, a link, and all of our unending admiration. What did you expect, cash?
Our New Lil Guy
Posted By Christina M on January 12, 2008
Happy announcement forthcoming: I am pleased to introduce to you
Peter Carroll
The newest member of our family.
He was born at 9:57 AM on Tuesday, January 8, by c-section, weighing in at 7 lbs, 2 oz, and measuring 19 1/2 inches. The love with which he was greeted by family members is beyond measure.
Mommy and baby are doing fine, having returned home from the hospital yesterday (Friday). There were no complications, and healing seems to be going well.
My Charming and Patient Husband thinks I get too mushy about baby details, so there’s the black and white scoop. Thank you all for your prayers… God has obviously been listening.
Baby Day, Tuesday
Posted By Christina M on January 7, 2008
That’s right. Tomorrow I’m going to deliver Baby Peter by c-section at 9:00 AM pacific time. Prayers for our safety and health will be mightily appreciated, and we’ll update info as soon as feasibility allows.
Playing with Gravidity
Posted By Christina M on December 30, 2007
Just nine more days to go!
Playing with Gravity
Posted By Christina M on December 28, 2007
Monkeytot has discovered gravity. I don’t mean that in the sense that a baby learns that he falls off the couch if he crawls too far. And I certainly don’t mean it in the sense that I fear to bend over lest my little joey weigh me down so heavily in front that I can’t get back up. I mean that Monkeytot has a new toy, and it happens to be one of the laws of physics.
It began yesterday when she found a mouse ball. Normally, a mouse ball without a mouse isn’t good for much except fitting into a totty mouth. But once we’d gotten the saliva wiped off, she discovered something cool: if she set it oh-so-carefully on the edge of a tv tray, it would roll off the side. And she would giggle. And she would pick up the ball and place it carefully in the center of the tray, to see the same result. In fact, wherever she put it on the tray, it rolled over one side or another. And every time, she giggled.
Today, she put it to a greater challenge. This time, she took three plastic rings, the kind that are used to hold toys onto playmat overhangs or mobiles. (They also link together very satisfyingly, and are too big to fit into a mouth.) The challenge is that they don’t roll. But they do slide, if put on a surface less flat than a tv tray… like, say, a head.
So she put one ring on her head and watched as it slid off. Delightfully, two and then three rings at a time showed the same results. But one being easier, she eventually settled for putting the one green plastic ring on her head over and over again, to see how far she had to tilt her head to make it slide off, and how still she had to hold her head to make it stay.
And once again, watching a toddler, I learn something about God, and why we are to be like little children. Children, as they learn the laws that govern things, are fascinated. It pleases them to discover that there is a force stronger than their little fingers, and they giggle as they find that they can’t disobey the law of gravity… the consequences are too consistent.
Yet adults often view the laws of the universe differently. The Way Things Work is a fearful thing. Giving in to them doesn’t make them giggle, it makes them mourn. When the child discovers that an object rolls or slides, she giggles; yet when an adult discovers that sex causes pregnancy or we don’t recover our sense of self-worth until we repent, somehow to many it looks like something to mourn. Many adults think that — or hope irrationally that — if they refuse to acknowledge those laws of the universe, they won’t be bound by them.
The thinking goes something like this: “If I acknowledge God and grace in my life, I have to live by His rules. I don’t think I can give up control, so I will just refuse to let Him into my life, and pretend that I do not believe or do not care.” But of course, like gravity, the laws of the universe go on working whether we acknowledge them or not. If the toddler believes this time the ball won’t roll off the table, it doesn’t prevent the ball from rolling off the table. And if the adult convinces himself that sex outside of marriage can be separated from love or procreation without consequences, his soul still gets knocked around; and so does his partner’s.
It reminds me of the older child who thinks that if he closes his eyes, we can’t see him because he can’t see us. The adult closes his eyes to God, thinking that then God cannot see him, and therefore God can be effectively excluded from any influence on the world.
But if one of my children closes his eyes, not only do I continue to see him, but I also continue to love him. God is the same, only far more so. So instead of fighting gravity, closing our eyes, and seeking ways to avoid Him, just as Adam and Eve hid from Him in the garden, why don’t we learn to take delight in the Way Things Work? Gravity can be fun, and God continues to love us.
Today, 8 is the magic number.
Posted By Christina M on December 6, 2007
I found a self-tagging meme at A Catholic Mom in Hawaii, and decided to tag myself.
The Meme is 8 Random Facts Meme, and here’s the obligatory quote about it.
.. Here’s what you do:
~ Each person starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves and post these guidelines.
~ At the end of the post, choose 8 people to be tagged and list their names.
~ Don’t forget to leave a comment telling them that they are tagged and to read your blog. Have fun!
1. I always figured I’d have four kids. I never dreamed of 8.
2. When I was young, I wanted to be an interpreter for the United Nations. Then I discovered debate, my major changed, and all bets were off.
3. I received a nomination to the Air Force Academy, but ended up not going because I couldn’t do a pull-up.
4. I like peanut butter and pickle sandwiches… and did even before I was pregnant.
5. When the house is empty, I like to pray out loud.
6. I have a really hard time keeping my language clean. I want to, but old habits really do die hard.
7. I have a history of practical jokes. Not harmful ones, though.
8. I have an unhealthy preference for most things pink.