Note to Monkeytot

| October 23, 2008

I don’t think you’ll have much success slicing the cheddar cheese with a plastic wrench. Sorry. And no, you may not grab a sharp knife to do it with instead. And NO, the hunk is not for biting directly into.

Note to Hypertot

| August 17, 2008

That’s not a wrist brace. No, no, don’t put it back in the bathroom cupboard where you found it; just go ahead and throw it away.

Note to Hypertot

| July 24, 2008

Convention holds that the “magic word” is please, not abracadabra. Really.

Note to Hypertot

| May 17, 2008

Honeybunch, you are indeed “allowed” to go to your room, and I suggest you go when told, regardless of your misconception. No, sending you there doesn’t make Daddy a bad person, nor a bank robber, as you so eloquently stated, and I seriously doubt he’s going to go to jail as a result. But nice […]

Note to Hypertot

| May 1, 2008

I think it’s great that you learned how to make your own peanut butter sandwiches; but do you think you could use a butter knife, instead of a plastic toy dagger?

Note to Self

| October 2, 2007

In future, be sure to look closely at Hypertot’s coat before sending him to preschool, to make sure it is actually a coat and not a snowsuit.

Mind if I Gripe?

| October 1, 2007

I’m at my wits’ end, and I wish I had some idea what to do. At this rate, there is reason to doubt that our three youngest will live to age 6. This is because three-year-old Hypertot, who is labeled as cognitively delayed, happens, also, to be a genius. Not your ordinary sort of genius, […]

Note to Hypertot

| September 30, 2007

I don’t care what Simon says, I am not going to pick my nose.

Start Them Catholics Young

| September 25, 2007

Hypertot to me:“I’m going to pray to Mary.” Hypertot to God:“God, please make Mary feel better.” His bus driver, Mary, had a substitute today, and we suspect she was sick.I’ve really got to work on those prepositions with him. edit: Silly me, first I should work on my own prepositions. Actual conversation quote now corrected.

Note to Monkeytot

| June 13, 2007

As a general rule, pouring Kix on the floor, stepping on them, and licking your feet is not considered an ideal way to eat. Would you consider a bowl?