Please Don’t Promise Me a Cheap Fling February 18, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Christina M @ 3:36 pm

Brittany Rotating Corpse found a gem of a Hallmark book-card. It’s from the 70’s, a fact that becomes obvious both by the cheesy mustache and the thoughts expressed. It’s title? Please Don’t Promise Me Forever.

Evidently it stood for all the deepest thoughts of the post-sexual revolution era. Commitment only dampens love, and as long as I say I love you, you should accept if I mistreat you. Love is the panacea word to excuse any and all mistreatment. Not surprising that a decade and a half later came a movie like Sleeping with the Enemy. The sexual revolution had taught women that if they really love in an open-minded way, they should submit to whatever excrement is flung their way. This from the same cultural revolution that told us that “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

But it’s just wrong. I want to know that the man I gave myself to will be here for me tomorrow. I NEED to know it. I wake up with a smile on my face because I do know it.  I deserve to know it. And he deserves to know the same of me. And I owe him certain things. I owe him a commitment that is deeper than a one-night stand. I owe it to him that I try to be kind, considerate, thoughtful, and helpful, even when I don’t feel like it, because love is a way you treat someone, not just a word used in foreplay. I owe it to him that if I fail in my treatment of him, instead of making excuses, I apologize. He deserves to know that he’s worth it. And so do I.

I am thankful that the era of “isn’t casual mistreatment really a form of romance” is winding down. And I’m here to say it, and say it loudly: Joel, I promise you forever. Or at least till death do us part. And I’m holding you to it!


I’m a Little Angry… or Maybe it’s a Power Surge March 23, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Christina M @ 10:59 am

You know how we keep hearing that sex ed is really health education, right? They say that Planned Parenthood is about educating young people about their bodies because those mean Christians would keep them in the dark. It isn’t really about promoting sexual abandon, it’s just about letting them have enough information to make their own choices… right?

But if it were really about educating women so that they know their bodies and how they work, where is the information about menopause? We are bombarded with talk about pubic hair and menstruation and liberation from “outdated” morality; but when do we ever hear the realities of what happens to our bodies after menarche?

They tell us how to apply a condom, but they don’t tell us how to tell when we’re fertile. They tell us how to get body-altering hormone treatments when we are not sick, but they don’t tell us about the side effects. They tell us about “all” those changes of our bodies, but they don’t say word one about menopause. Let’s face it, Planned Parenthood and others like them are only interested in teen sexuality, not in the overall sexual health of females.

This is why, when I wanted to learn how to tell when I’m fertile, I had to go to Christian sources and alternative health sources. This is why my state repeatedly tells me they’ll pay for pills for me, but not for a thermometer and a class. And this is why it is darn near impossible to find any information at all about menopause.

When I wanted to find out when it typically happens, it took me months of research to find the answer. Learning about the phases of menopause (and perimenopause) was tougher. They all said “oh, you get hot flashes and mood swings.” But I couldn’t find out for how long, or what is happening inside the body when these things happen. And frankly, maybe it’s because I’m a perimenopausal bundle of hostilities, but it makes me mad that those who get so much credit for caring about women’s health and disseminating information are completely ignoring menopause. I guess there’s no money in those who aren’t getting unwanted pregnancies.

I did finally find my information, though. I finally realized I needed to stop searching for “menopause” and start searching for “menopause” and “nfp.” (That’s natural family planning.) Only then did I find real information beyond hot flashes. And surprise, surprise, most of those promoting NFP are Christians.

I recently bought a couple of books on menopause at a thrift store. I’ve begun reading one of them, and by the end of the first paragraph was already frustrated. That’s the first paragraph of the introduction, mind you. The author said that one of the consolations of menopause is the kids moving out. Please tell me she doesn’t mean I can expect this process to last the next 17 years, till my youngest reaches adulthood. Ok, I know that isn’t what she means. What she means is the same thing most people in the secular world seem to believe: that sex is not related to childbearing.

Let me explain. Sex, or actually fertile sex, is something that is perceived to last long after a woman might realistically have children. Any woman who hits menopause hasn’t had any babies for twenty years. Sure, she’s having sex; but what does that have to do with having babies? People like me, who believe that fertility and parenting go hand in hand, simply aren’t supposed to exist. We contradict the current thinking about the purpose of sex, so we just get ignored. Besides, I suspect we’re believed to be too ignorant to be reading books like this about sexual health, anyway.

I really hope the other book turns out to be better. I’m looking for information, not preconceived notions about the social aspects of middle aged sex and childbearing. (No pun intended.)

I guess I’m ranting more than offering a genuine insight; but I am extremely frustrated. Why is in-depth information so difficult to find? I want to know what to expect as I enter a new phase, as much now as I did when I was twelve. Maybe those who do have information should be a little more forthcoming, and less private about it. It’s just as well I don’t get my information from Planned Parenthood, all things considered. I probably wouldn’t trust it much. But I do wish that NFP and its perspectives on fertility and understanding what the female body is doing were not so closely guarded and reserved for people who can afford classes.


Grinding One’s Axe on the Child March 3, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Christina M @ 9:23 am

That’s what I strongly believe is going on with the child mentioned here. Specifically, a second grader has announced that he’s transgendered, with his family’s support, and the school is obliged to support him in the decision.

So, where does an eight year old get a word like “transgender”? Where does a child that age get the concept that he isn’t really the person he sees in the mirror? Even if it were true, it isn’t an issue a second grader would be able to put into words.

That is, unless his parents jumped on the idea.

I could see a kid that age putting on Mommy’s high heels and traipsing around the house saying “I’m a woman!” I’ve seen younger kids than that do it, because every child toys with the idea of pretending to be various role models. Every child I’ve ever known, by age two, tries on both Mommy’s and Daddy’s shoes… and big brother’s, and aunt’s… and any big person in his life. That is how they explore the idea that they will be big one day themselves. So, when a second grader comes up with the idea that it isn’t fair that Sister has prettier clothes than he has, or wants to be just like Mommy when he grows up, it’s not terribly surprising.

What is surprising is a parent who is so eager to display his axe to grind that when Kiddo says “I wish I could wear dresses like Mommy does,” says “Woohoo, we have a transgender kid! Isn’t it great? Now we can make our point to the world!!”

So now a kid who had an appreciation for gingham is suddenly assigned a lifetime of wearing girl’s clothing and thinking daily about his own sexuality from this day forward. By age eleven, he will be deciding with whom to have sex. By age eighteen, he will likely commit suicide. The article doesn’t mention that: that the majority of transgender people commit suicide.

But it’s worth it, because it allows Mommy’s and Daddy’s soap box to be big and visible. Who gives a damn what it does to the child?

Anything for politics. Anything for politics. Anything for politics. Keep repeating that until you convince yourself that the child is less important than the issue.


Who’s Really Benefitting? January 23, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Christina M @ 10:31 pm

Dawn Eden, in her usual delight of words writes a brief exposition of the lyrics of a song, in “From Bed to Verse.” I highly recommend the read.

In it, she describes a feminist discussion about the meaning of the song, being the way men use women. Dawn describes the ache of sleeping with a person when words of love have not been expressed. All I could think was how very sad… not that men are using women in such a way, but that today women are asking to be so used. It’s a “right” to be used and tossed. A right guaranteed by everyone from the abortion industry to many state governments.

I really cannot understand how people who purport to stand up for the “rights” of women can so highly recommend their emotional bruising and physical using as an expression of emancipation. If that’s freedom, I’ll pass.


This time, conservatives want the state to get out of their bedrooms. February 10, 2004

Filed under: Uncategorized — Christina M @ 10:40 am

Usually it is the Democrats who cry out over government intrusion into the bedroom. But some democrats, like Washington state representative Maralyn Chase, favor privacy only for liberal causes. The “Two or Fewer” bill she proposed upholds the Democratic and liberal perspective, so that invasion of privacy doesn’t count as a genuine invasion.

The truth is that Ms. Chase’s perspective doesn’t hold up as consistent when more liberal issues are at stake. A defender of gay rights, she gets an A rating from the Snohomish County Elections Committee for Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Transgendered. Another pro-homosexual group lists her as one of the few Washington state representatives with an “A+” rating, rating her higher than 50% of the openly homosexual or bisexual representatives. Her views on privacy only extend to the privacy of groups represented by liberal causes and groups, apparently. It would be nice if she could represent her constituency more evenhandedly, by holding either a solid moral perspective or an unflinching respect for privacy for all. Some people would still disagree with her views, but at least they could not accuse her of hypocrisy.

Ms. Chase herself claims her bill is not an intrusion at all, because it does not advocate the actual restriction of family size, but only “education.” She “She counts that choice among the most private and intimate decisions a couple can make.” She speaks as though she is defending the rights of both sides; but it is only the promotion of negative population growth that her bill promotes. That isn’t education, but propaganda.

And it is not just a matter of sexual privacy, but of religious freedom.

When she propagandizes against large families, not only is she committing a serious act of bigotry against a number of her own constituents, she is also making a religious statement that those religions that encourage larger families are acting harmfully to society. She is, further, encouraging others to join her in an idealogical crusade against those who have either personal or religious reasons for having larger families.

Then there’s the more sinister question: how often does an idealogical crusade succeed without it eventually moving from words to action? It took China about 20 years to move from words to action, instituting a one-birth policy. And “progress” in multiple countries (particularly China and India) has shown that birth restriction, whether legally enforced or idealogically encouraged, tends to lead toward the degradation and even killing of women and girls. This is not a direction I, as a resident of Washington state, want to go.

Fortunately, neither do any other members of the Washington state House of Representatives. Unable to get a co-sponsor, the bill died for the year. I have a feeling that so will Ms. Chase’s political career.