It’s a holiday weekend, and you know what that means: Coasties. Now don’t get me wrong, some Coasties are nice. Take Aunt Betsy, for example. She’s genuinely pleasant, fun, polite, and good company. Of course, I don’t think she’s a native of Seattle, so maybe it doesn’t count. At any rate, every holiday weekend our town is overrun by people from Seattle who don’t work from the same example as Betsy. They throw their burning cigarettes onto the local dry lawns. They break into local cars, they flip off local workers, they cut off local drivers, and they smirk at how clever they are. Haw, haw, haw… the local yokels hain’t never seen a middle finger before. How very cleeeever!
The thing is, I know where they’re coming from. They think that because they make more money than us, they must be far wittier, smarter, and all-around superior to the hicks who run their holiday playground. Never mind the question it begs: if they make twice the money and it costs three times as much to live there, who’s really smarter?
It doesn’t seem to occur to them that this isn’t just their playground; it’s our home. How would they feel if we treated their home that way?
But then yesterday, I realized maybe I’m being hypocritical about the whole thing, expecting them to act like Brownsiders while they’re here. After all, I don’t act like a Coastie when I visit there. I’m polite and I drive well, even when I visit Seattle. So maybe I’m just as bad as they are, acting like a Brownsider when I visit the West Side.
Tell ya what. If I start cussing and driving like a maniac when I’m over there, will you folks start behaving like civilized human beings when you’re here?