Posted By Christina Martin on January 31, 2010

My friend Mary has cancer. I would be more specific, but it would take a page to describe all the cancer spots. She’s been actively getting treatment, and has already had major surgeries, including having part of a lung removed. (No, she is not a smoker — it was metastasized from elsewhere.) She is asking for prayers, and so am I. I love this dear lady, and do not want to lose her.

Some of you may remember when I was asking for prayers for my 5 year old cousin. God answered those prayers, and this child who was not expected to live not only lived but her tumor mysteriously disappeared before they went to remove it. God can indeed work miracles, as we have seen. I do not know His plan, but I know that He loves, and will welcome our prayers.

Thank you, prayer warriors!

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Posted By Christina Martin on January 22, 2010

Not all change is progress. The fall of the Roman Empire was a change.

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Posted By Christina Martin on January 19, 2010

Learn something new every day.

What I learned today was interesting, all right. I learned a few things about credit, credit reporting, and collectors. Maybe I’m naive, but it really took me by surprise.

First, let me tell you, in case you do not know. There is a place to get free copies of your credit reports, and it is NOT the place that has the annoying pirate restaurant singer. No, it’s a right guaranteed by the government, through the FTC. Go to http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/credit/cre34.shtm for more information, and to http://www.annualcreditreport.com to collect. You are entitled to see your credit report with each of the three reporting agencies for free once per year.

When I was looking at mine, I discovered that one thing didn’t fit. There is a section that is visible to you, but is not distributed with your credit report to inquirers. That part is where companies have checked your credit for the purpose of offering unsolicited credit offers. You know, the letters from banks that tell you how you’re pre-qualified. On that list was a collection agency. It had a notation next to it specifically indicating that their purpose was to offer unsolicited credit. Yes, this was one of the companies that last year claimed to be trying to collect a debt, a debt we did not owe.  Furthermore, my report stated that I did not have any accounts with any collection agencies.

What does all this mean? A collection agency lied about their purpose in looking at my credit report, so that they could get information on me to pretend I owed them money. They had not even purchased an account — they were making it up!

Just because someone says they are from a collection agency and that you owe them money, that doesn’t necessarily mean it is true. They can easily obtain information about some debt you owe and pretend to have bought it. If you pay them, you are out the money, and you still owe the money to the real owner of the debt.

What does this mean to you? Three things. First, check your credit report annually. Know the state of your affairs. Second, NEVER pay by phone, especially to a collection agent.  Third, before making any payment, obtain proof in writing of the debt. They may bully, yell, refuse you information, and even call you names. Do NOT pay them to get them off your back. The more they bully, the more likely it is that they are fraudulent.

If you genuinely owe money, it is right to pay it. You should pay it… but make sure that you are paying it to the person you really owe it to, and do not give them the power to take more than you are giving. Don’t ever let them access your checking account, for instance. (Even genuine credit companies are known sometimes to double dip, collecting more than one payment with one authorization.  I lost hundreds of dollars in fees when my mortgage company took two payments instead of one a few years ago. Lesson learned.)

Please, learn from my mistakes. Never pay by phone, and always get everything in writing. Anyone can start up a collection agency and claim you owe them money. Save your money for those you really owe.

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Posted By Christina Martin on January 14, 2010

The other day I saw the words “What’s wrong with America” somewhere, and it got me to thinking. It’s easy to blame today’s woes entirely on politics. The left thinks it’s because of the right, the right thinks it’s because of the left, and everyone agrees that we have problems. Maybe politics play a part (in fact, I feel pretty certain they do) but I don’t think it’s right to just blame it on politics and then move on. I think that’s really just passing the buck. At least, it relieves us of having to think about the other causes.

What is wrong with America?

We live in a land of dichotomies.

We offer minority scholarships so that they can go to college, but we don’t improve their elementary school education to prepare them for college.

We preach against child abuse while protecting, even defending the right to abuse babies to death in the womb.

We believe strongly in the value of the individual while using the school system to squeeze all individuality out of children with standardized testing and standardized curriculum. (So much standardized curriculum that there is little room left for individualized learning.)

We believe in government of the people, by the people, and for the people, while electing career politicians who do not have to live with the consequences of the laws they pass. (I did say politics were a part, just not the whole thing.)

We talk about caring for the poor, but we look to entities and institutions to correct the problem for us.

We talk a good talk, but we do not walk a good walk. We are so busy institutionally caring about people we throw persons under the bus to get them out of the way of our agendas.

What’s wrong with America? We are so tied to our philosophies, ideas, and theories that we forgot how to care for those that don’t help our agendas along. We seem to have forgotten that what goes on in our own brains isn’t nearly as important as the human beings that are harmed by being denied education, safety, or food.

We have forgotten to ache when an innocent person is harmed by our ideals. When we care for the poor but don’t feed the hungry (as a person, not as an institution)… when we care for children but support their killing… when we care for the underprivileged but settle for throwing tests at them to “fix” the problem… we aren’t really caring. We are talking a nice, pretty, hypocritical talk. Until we stop being hypocrites, I do not believe our problems in the United States will improve.

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Posted By Christina Martin on January 12, 2010

Ladies, if you think men are a mystery, read on.

1. Men are human. Do not expect them to behave otherwise.

2. You can’t change them. A man who is good isn’t going to change for you. A man who is bad isn’t going to change for you. Do not go into a relationship thinking if you make things permanent his faults will disappear. If he has faults you cannot tolerate (or even non-fault personality traits) you aren’t going to sift them out once you have “rights.”

3. You can’t buy a man. You can’t make him feel obligated to be with you, stay with you, or commit to you by giving sex. Even if it works, it isn’t fair. And it usually doesn’t work. All it does is turn both of you into manipulators. That is a very poor foundation for a relationship.

4. Living together isn’t a step toward marriage. You may think it is, and maybe he even thinks it is. But He may not. In so many relationships, one person moves in because they think it will force the relationship closer to marriage, while the other person thinks of it as a way to avoid real commitment. When it breaks up (as most of them do) there is just more baggage because you’ve combined households, and the hurt is deeper.

5. Same with having a baby, only more so. Don’t have a baby to strengthen a relationship. Only have one if you are already in a strong and permanent relationship (marriage).

What it all boils down to is this: men are not objects to be manipulated, and if you try you will only hurt both of you.  If you feel the need to manipulate, you need to do some serious reflection before trying to take things to a new level.

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Posted By Christina Martin on December 14, 2009

Every once in a while I begin to wonder if justice is going to deal to me what I probably deserve when I become a teacher. I think about the things that I learned in school, and I wonder if karma exists.

For instance:

• I learned that a teacher should not use her son’s name as a password on her computer account. Especially if she’s taught them a little basic, and has basic programs in her files.
• I learned that visitors at open house are suitably impressed if Freud on the interactive computer game knows how to react to the F bomb… and even more impressed if he takes the word literally.
• I learned that it’s a lot harder than it looks to make an underground newspaper interesting, let alone amusing.
• I learned how to make any poster up to 8 1/2 x 11 look like it has the official approval of the office staff.
• I learned that even a poster with official approval will be called into question if the material on it is objectionable enough.
• I learned that notices implying a connection between faculty members and sci-fi villains or Soviet leaders may be considered objectionable.
• I learned how to get not-necessarily-official statements added to the morning’s official announcements.
• I learned that if a security strip from a library book happens to find its way into a teacher’s purse while she’s in the library, mayhem ensues.

As I survey so many things I learned in school, one question just can’t be avoided. What on earth am I getting myself into?

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Posted By Christina Martin on November 29, 2009

I like to be gentle most of the time. I don’t enjoy criticizing people, and I don’t base my love for people on whether they live perfectly. I am a sinner myself, so I’m in no position to withhold my love for others because of sin. But there are times when the truth needs to be said, and the truth isn’t always easy to hear. I don’t speak the truth because I hate you, but because I love you.

There is a truth. You know inside of you that there is. And you know with your depths that truth doesn’t change to suit what you believe. God doesn’t cease to be, or cease to care, just because you try to stop caring or believing. Like a parent, He misses you when you are gone. He loves you, and He is ready to welcome you back at any time. The only thing stopping you is your own reluctance.

There are many reasons for reluctance. For some, it is fear that God cannot love you because of your sins. That’s just a mistake. If God could only love the sin-free, He wouldn’t have allowed us freedom of choice. He loves you, no matter what. Just like I love Hyperlad when he breaks a window or steals a piece of candy… no, more so. He loves you so much more than a human mother loves her child.

For others, it is willfulness. You want to hang on to your sins, or your perspectives, or your lifestyle, and you think God gets in the way. No problem, just write Him out of the picture. The only problem is that by turning your back on Him, you can’t make Him go away. He still exists. He still cares. He still hurts over your stubbornness and rejection, and He still loves you unconditionally. You don’t like knowing that, because it makes you feel guilty to know that someone you chose to hurt loves you anyway. It would be easier if He would just turn His back on you; but He won’t. You can’t make Him stop caring about your well being just by not caring about Him. You can’t make Him approve of sin just by choosing an easier belief set.

For others it is a false worship of their own intelligence or choices. “I’ve made my choices, and it would be hypocritical to change my ways now.” But it’s false logic, really. We are not gods, and we will not be. You are not greater than the One who loves you and made you. And you are not greater than His love and forgiveness. Do you really think that you are so big that your decisions and thoughts can outweigh the Maker of the universe? Your sins are not bigger than His ability to forgive. He loves you, and will forgive you this very moment if you are ready to accept it.

You are, however, important and so very special. You are so important, so special, that you should receive and welcome every bit of love offered to you.

It is not too late. If you think it is, that is your enemy whispering in your ear. God loves you, and that is all there is too it. He does not love you conditionally, until you make a mistake. If that were the case, there would be no heaven, no believers, no love in the world. Do not turn away any longer!

If I’ve touched even a small part of your doubt, please whisper just this one tiny prayer under your breath. “Lord, show me Your love. Show me what You want me to see.”

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Posted By Christina Martin on November 6, 2009

We’re outgrowing our church … and it’s all Fr. Felipe’s fault. Well, not fault. Credit. The fact is, we’ve had our pastor only a short time but he’s awakened so much of the parish. Since he got here, we’ve had a phenomenal adult retreat, several great retreats for teens, small faith communities forming, numerous Bible study groups, a fellowship ministry, some truly inspiring guest speakers and parish missions… and I’m sure I must be forgetting some things. Now, we have so many people meeting at the parish almost every night that it’s getting hard to find room for all the groups to meet. People are getting to know each other’s names.

I’ve reached the point where I wouldn’t want to move, because I’d miss my parish. That’s big.

Not every pastor has the time or ability to plan so many things to bring the parish together. I realize we are incredibly fortunate. But I think most parishes could do some of these things, and that most pastors would bless these activities if they didn’t have to arrange them personally. So I’m going to list a few of the things our parish is doing or has done that have helped us to become far more of a community.

1. Friends of Fatima. This is a local ministry that I’m pretty sure this one was organized by lay people, with the pastor’s approval. It’s a group of people who have set about doing whatever they can to encourage fellowship. They serve donuts after morning Mass to get people sticking around and talking instead of rushing to their cars. They put on an annual harvest dinner (a real winner in a farming community). They help with other events throughout the year, and they have really brought a feeling of camaraderie to our little parish. If your parish doesn’t have a fellowship group and needs one, consider being the one to spark that fire.

2. COR retreats for teens. These are made available for young people in the parish, and have done a really good job of lighting a fire. The adult planners (as well as teens who have been through the retreat already) partner with new retreatants for a memorable experience. Our confirmation students are required to attend one retreat during their two year preparation; it can be this or another retreat, but I’ve never heard a kid regret attending COR. This is a larger movement, not just our parish, but unfortunately I don’t know where to get information about a program. My best suggestion would be to talk to someone at a parish hosting one in your area to find out what would be necessary to bring them to your parish.

3. Sacred Heart Evangelization Retreat. I haven’t been to a COR, but I have been to a Sacred Heart Evangelization retreat, and it was life changing. It brought enthusiasm and friendship to a whole new level at our parish, and had a long-lasting effect of helping us to build small faith communities that are strengthening our faith and giving us a study and support network that makes so much of the retreat’s effects more permanent.

4. Parish missions. If your parish is not having some sort of mission, I’m surprised. However, if you want a recommendation for one that really moved us, I suggest Brendan Case. He is a layman who leads parish missions, and has a gift for reaching different groups of people. Our parish was really buzzing after he came here, and I know that my teen daughter really felt that it changed her life for the better.

5. Bible Study. While it’s true that any group of people can get together and study the Bible together, you will get much more out of it if it is parish sponsored and has solid guidance. I highly — oh, SO highly — recommend Jeff Cavins’ Great Bible Adventure. Jeff Cavins is extraordinarily gifted both with knowledge of Scripture and with the ability to explain it. The program comes with CDs or DVDs of his talks, which are followed up with group discussion in your small group. I recommend a group of 8-16 participants. The DVD program is a bit of an expenditure; most families won’t be able to buy it. On a parish level, though, it is very much worth the cost of (if I recall correctly) around $300. It can be re-used with one bible study group after another.

6. Finally, there’s you and me. We Catholics are often not as good as we ought to be at fellowship. When you go into the church, look for someone you know but not well. Go up to them and smile, and say hello. Tell them it’s good to see them. No program in the world can ever replace genuine human kindness and friendliness. Even we can learn it, if we try.

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Tags: Catholicism, education, evangelization, ideas, local life, religion

Posted By Christina Martin on November 4, 2009

In the spirit of Christine the Soccer Mom, and My Charming and Patient Husband, I will celebrate Sesame Street’s birthday by posting a couple of my favorite clips.

I guess you could say I have a soft spot for the big cast all star numbers.

I still miss Kermit, though.

And I chuckle to myself when I remember Jane Curtin disrobing on Point Counterpoint, Pee Wee Herman getting arrested in an adult theater, and the Frugal Gourmet… well, let’s not go there. Such role models!

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Posted By Christina Martin on October 24, 2009

Actually, educational psychology. We just finished the class today, so I’m two classes down. One more this semester, and then December off; after that, three more semesters till student teaching.

I haven’t had much time lately to talk about what I’ve been learning, but I must say it’s fascinating stuff. We went through the large 16 chapter text in three weekends (three hours Friday, 6 hours Saturday) so it really has been rather a whirlwind. I guess being too busy to blog is a natural side effect of this unusual method of learning. We each taught (with a team) two chapters, so naturally we learned those chapters better than the others; that was the shortcoming of this course. That, and of course the extremely limited timeframe for learning so much material. Now that we’ve had our final and the stress is off, I can finally relax and contemplate what we’ve absorbed.

Something struck me as quite fascinating today. We learned about three domains of cognitive, psychomotor, and affective. The cognitive is what is sound like: the domain of knowledge and intellectual skills. The psychomotor is the domain of physical abilitites and skills, and the affective is the domain of attitudes and values. It occurred to me as I reflected on these three domains that society frequently confuses the affective and cognitive domains, thinking that our attitudes and values are a sign of strong or weak intellectual skills. Really, that makes no more sense than labeling a child as smart or stupid based on how well he or she jumps rope.

I think one of the most important things we can do when dealing with diverse children is to acknowledge that their values and attitudes are a deep part of who they are, and not just a reflection of their knowledge, intelligence, or education.

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