Posted By Christina M on November 28, 2010

One of the hardest things for a child to get over is when their God image hurts them. We all have images of God… the father or mother who represents goodness to us; the aunt or uncle who teaches us about God and seems like His voice to us; the authority figure, the early figure of love, and so on. In a sacramental sense, these people who give us a face to attach to God help us, as young people, to see the unseen.

But they are fallible. Sometimes these faces that we think of as representing God hurt us. A parent, a pastor, or a neighbor who seems to be God’s presence in our life will eventually let us down because he or she is not perfect; and if that person lets us down in a big way, it may not only feel like we can never forgive and heal, but it may feel like it was God Himself who hurt us.

But it isn’t.

The person who harmed you wasn’t God. God was the one holding you, rocking you, consoling you, and hurting with you. The person who looked the other way while you were being hurt wasn’t God. God was the one whispering in that person’s ear “Have courage, my child. Tell the secret. Help the victim. Do what you have to do.”

And you hurt because the person who hurt you didn’t stop, and the person who knew didn’t find that courage. And you blame God, because that person who loved you, and knew you were being hurt didn’t love you enough to do anything about it. And if they love you and don’t love you enough to help you not to be hurt, you reason, God also must not love you enough. So you turn your back on Him.

If God’s rules, and God’s representatives, don’t do the job, then you’ll create your own god, who will serve your needs. You’ll redesign God in the image of  how things should have gone.

The problem is you aren’t really redesigning God; you are only re-imagining those humans you thought represented Him. You are picturing what they should have been like, and how they should have behaved. And when you attach that picture of the people who harmed you to God, you reject the very one who does love you enough to help you.

He loves you. And He only wants what is good for you. It was not his will that you got hurt. It was his great pain. He loves you so much, all he wants to do is help you and heal you; but when you run away from Him, you reject that healing.

I understand why you find it hard to trust Him. And He certainly understands. That is why He is still waiting, with open arms, to comfort you. Pour out your pain and let Him.

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