5 Things I’ve Learned about Men

Posted By on January 12, 2010

Ladies, if you think men are a mystery, read on.

1. Men are human. Do not expect them to behave otherwise.

2. You can’t change them. A man who is good isn’t going to change for you. A man who is bad isn’t going to change for you. Do not go into a relationship thinking if you make things permanent his faults will disappear. If he has faults you cannot tolerate (or even non-fault personality traits) you aren’t going to sift them out once you have “rights.”

3. You can’t buy a man. You can’t make him feel obligated to be with you, stay with you, or commit to you by giving sex. Even if it works, it isn’t fair. And it usually doesn’t work. All it does is turn both of you into manipulators. That is a very poor foundation for a relationship.

4. Living together isn’t a step toward marriage. You may think it is, and maybe he even thinks it is. But He may not. In so many relationships, one person moves in because they think it will force the relationship closer to marriage, while the other person thinks of it as a way to avoid real commitment. When it breaks up (as most of them do) there is just more baggage because you’ve combined households, and the hurt is deeper.

5. Same with having a baby, only more so. Don’t have a baby to strengthen a relationship. Only have one if you are already in a strong and permanent relationship (marriage).

What it all boils down to is this: men are not objects to be manipulated, and if you try you will only hurt both of you.  If you feel the need to manipulate, you need to do some serious reflection before trying to take things to a new level.


One Response to “5 Things I’ve Learned about Men”

  1. Sharon says:

    Preach it!! Excellent post. 🙂

    I recently started reading The Love Dare, and it’s an excellent book. This post made me think all over again I’m thankful for that book right now.

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